Struggling and Provision

Can I just confess that it's been a really tough week?  I've struggled with grief, sorrow, anger, doubt, fear, regret, and to top it all off - laziness.  Tuesday was so hard I could hardly stand it.  As Michael read our nightly devotion the tears flowed, but I didn't want him to know because I couldn't explain them.  Of course it's kind of hard to hide tears when you use 15 tissues in five minutes or something.  Alas.

While I've struggled this week God has been sweet.  In both Bible studies that I'm currently engaged in He has spoken.  In Daniel we learn in all things God is sovereign.  And we see that all through scripture He tells His people what He's going to do.  Did you know that according to Daniel if the religious leaders had been paying attention to dates alone they would have known that Jesus was their Messiah when he rode into Jerusalem on the colt of the donkey?  Isn't that amazing?  And even now He tells us through His prophets what's coming in the future.  He's given us a heads up.

Yesterday He spoke in another way.  I was playing catch-up with the other study last night. In it the author, Kelly Minter, tells of going to a guitar sale where the man selling them had never even opened the cases -- much less played them.  Expensive guitars.  Like more than I would pay for a car guitars.  Kelly likened that to us having gifts from God yet never opening them.  Pretty interesting thoughts.  I'll let you ponder those in your own life.

She also talked about provision.  How God always makes provision for our needs and for what He's called us to do.  Remember Abraham and Isaac?  And remember how God called Abraham to go and sacrifice Isaac?  And how Isaac asked his Dad where the lamb was? And Abraham answered  him, 'God will provide.'  And He did.  We see in a few verses down that God provided a ram whose horns were caught in the thicket.

So God is sovereign, and God has provision.  The weight of this week has been oppressive, but I know that God is in control and He will provide.  Last night He sent me to Psalm 116. Yes, I cried, and no, the weight didn't go away.  But I know that He is sovereign, that He will provide, and that He is right here with me as I struggle.

"I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.  Because He inclined His hear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live."  ~Psalm 116:1-2


"The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations."  ~Psalm 33:11