I have been instructed by my children and a few others to stop going down memory lane. Nathan told me yesterday that he's had enough of that lane to last for quite some time. So in order to bring a little humor to the table I've been thinking of all the goofy things that have happened to us over the years. Kristi thinks this should be a book -- not just a blog post. Unfortunately my memory is not that good. But here's a few things that should, at the very least, bring a smile to your face.
Just because Kristi thought this was such a grand idea, I'll start with her favorite story. When she introduces Jeanna to new friends she always adds this story as a sidebar. Jeanna and I are both SO impressed with this -- NOT! When Jeanna was in kindergarten she came home and told me that later in the week they were having "Dress-Up Day." It sounded like great fun to me and with her input on the day of the 'event' we dressed her up as a clown. She wore a red gingham clown suit (it even had a ruffle that went around her neck), we 'painted' her face, and put her hair in various 'pigtails'. She was a really cute clown. We took pictures of her and Jason standing by the front door before her Dad took her to school.
Later that afternoon Jason and I headed to the school for the quarterly awards program. Uh-oh. My cute little clown daughter should have been wearing one of her frilly pinafore dresses and her black patent leathers. Poor baby, if it wasn't enough that her mother dressed her as a clown, she had earned several awards and kept having to get up in front of the entire school. Oh, the shame of it all. Maybe she learned to be tough because of her mother, and not because of her brothers. Yikes.
The summer after Jason's kindergarten year we went and stayed a week in Colorado with my cousin and her family. I came from downstairs one morning and noticed none of the kids were in the house. I asked where they were and was told they were outside riding the 4-wheeler. As I'm looking around - noticing that ALL of the adults were inside - I began to rise up off the sofa to go supervise. As I am rising, my mother happens to glance out the window and screams, "oh my gosh, they've just run over Jason with the 4-wheeler!" Yep, we all know that 6, 8, and 9 year-olds should not be unsupervised around mechanical equipment. And ours, being the dare devils that they are (I would say were, but it would be untrue), were playing chicken. Jason just forgot to jump back out of the way quickly enough. Thankfully, he was not badly injured. No broken bones, just a cut on the head which bled like crazy and required two stitches.
Fast forward to Jason's 7th grade year. He's playing football for the first time and his back starts bothering him. We take him to a specialist (that's a whole other story) who sends us elsewhere to have x-rays taken. We get the x-rays back and as the doctor is looking at them says, "were you ever in a car accident or anything like that when you were younger?" Jason and I look at him blankly, and we both said, "No." His 7th lumbar was broken. The doctor said it isn't uncommon but most people don't find out about it until they are in their late 20's and playing golf. (which was the forbidden sport in my household at that time-another story) We go home, Jason calls his Grandma to tell her the news, and the first thing out of her mouth was, "oh, I bet that happened when you got run over by the 4-wheeler, huh?" Good grief. Made a big impression didn't it? I'm not sure we ever shared that story with the doctor. Some days it's just best to remain silent. Have mercy.
One night after some some event we were all congregating back at the house. Nathan and Jason had gone by Taco Villa for dinner. Mike, Jeanna, and I were already home. We three were standing out on the front porch watching it rain and watching the clouds. That's what West Texans do when that wet stuff comes down -- we stop everything and watch -- it's amazing. It was beginning to rain in earnest when Nathan and Jason arrived with the food. They jumped out of the car and ran towards the house. Mike was standing with his arm propped up on the bricks. Nathan thought Mike was holding the glass screen door open for him and Jason. Mike wasn't holding the door open. Nathan put his head down as if he were going under Mike's arm and ran right through that glass door - forehead first. Nathan ran through the entry way then dove onto the carpet and slid. He ended up with a couple of pieces of glass embedded in his arm and glass was all over him.
The screen was made of safety glass, so mostly it just crumbled. It took awhile to get the glass off of Nathan and make sure he was okay. We ended up in the emergency room so the glass could be removed from his arm and a few stitches later we were back home. He had torn a small hole in the knee of his khaki's from the slide, but other than his arm there were no more cuts - a few nicks, but nothing else. Well, he did have a knot on his forehead. (grimace) To this day there is no screen door at that house. We would go to Home Depot to look at glass doors, and I would turn green. Alas.
There are other stories. Soccer injuries, baseball injuries, New Year's Eve preparation injuries. Jeanna was at IBC helping decorate for the student New Year's Eve party. She and Corey started trash talking and Corey started 'punching'. The problem was that he made contact with Jeanna's front teeth -- she had had her braces off about three months. (they were playing - this wasn't new behavior) Yep, poor Corey will never live that down. Sorry dear.
Oh, and since we started with Kristi's favorite we'll end with a Kristi story. We were all in Amarillo to pack her and Nathan for their move to Fort Worth. She and Trent were arguing about something and whatever Trent said to her made her mad. Mike and Nathan were both wearing Texas Tech gray hoodies. Kristi turned around to slug Nathan in the back -- only it wasn't Nathan -- it was Michael. If only we had a picture of the absolute look of horror on her face when she realized it was Michael. Trent, Vickie, and I literally hit the floor laughing. Mike turned around and gave her the funniest look. She didn't know whether to cry, laugh, or cuss. Nathan and Ron were stunned. The rest of the week Mike moaned about the 'bruises' on his back. She would turn beet red -- and still does when reminded. Too funny. Especially when both of the daughter-in-laws are always telling us they don't want 'that look' from Michael.
There probably is some deep spiritual significance in those stories -- but I don't know what it would be. Sometimes you just gotta laugh, cause it's funny. or something.
