This blog is one part of the 2 Samuel edition from a few weeks back. Before we begin, I need to insert a few disclaimers so that all of you know. We have two sons, and we have two grandsons. And I really do think boys are the funniest creatures God has created--especially the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade varieties. (Kristi tells me when Asher hits 7th grade she's sending him to me for a couple of years.) Teaching junior high students (boys AND girls) has been one of the highlights of my life. They make me laugh out loud. I LOVE them. Sometimes they act as if they're three, and sometimes as if they're thirty. Oh how I love them!!!
Okay, back to where I need to be. In January while Jason was in India, I went and stayed with Kami and Kayden. As I spent Sunday through Friday with Mr. Kayden Busy Boy I thought of lots of things in this life he will encounter--and the all important question, will he be ready? What does that even look like?
Several things come to mind. The most important is a personal relationship with Christ. I want him to accept Christ as his Savior early in life. That means he not only needs to hear God's word, it needs to be lived out before him in the real live world. He needs to see it from parents, grandparents, other family, and friends. Mostly, he needs to see it from his Dad. (no pressure here, nope, none at all) He needs to see those who call themselves 'Christian' on mission in their normal everyday world. I'm not talking about perfection here. I want authenticity. That means when I blow it - he knows it. I'm talking about the underlying knowledge that as we go about our life we are on mission because of Jesus Christ and who He is. We should be a walking invitation for others to "Come and see."
He also needs permission to be a boy. Unfortunately, our culture does all it can to discourage boyhood. God may have created men and women as equals, but He did NOT make them the same. We ARE different. His brain is wired differently from yours Mom. It's okay. Let him have his dirt, and worms, and bugs, and balls, and bats, and all those things that make you squirm. But also, let him have his teddy bear and his favorite blanket. Just because he's boy doesn't mean he doesn't want kisses and cuddles. Let him cry at stupid movies, (just don't be asking Nathan how many he and I have cried through together.) A man after God's own heart--David was a warrior and David was a poet, and he excelled at both.
Respect. Such a little word with huge consequences. I'll never forget in a parent/teen session we did at Immanuel when this word caused massive amounts of comments, groans, and snickers. And the underlying pain was palpable. And for the most part, these were churched families. He needs to learn how to respect others--those similar to him, those who are way different from him, those with whom he agrees, and those with whom he disagrees, those who are beautiful, and those who are ugly, those who show him respect, and even those who do not. Even those who love the color blue. (family joke) Mom and Dad, he learns respect from you. How you treat him, and how you treat one another and others matters. That respect word? It's HUGE. (as Swig would say)
I'm afraid this is getting too long so I really need to wrap it up. May I just throw out some one-liners? Mom, teach him to be the man you would want your daughter to marry. (among other things that means the sock drawer doesn't refill by magic, the oven is for baking, and you can't be hateful to your siblings or your mother) Dad, if you're the typical sitcom dad? Repent!!! The best thing you can do for your kids is love their Mom. Spend time with him. Let him know you're on his side. Our pastor reminded us again yesterday that children who have involved fathers do better at everything! They do life better. Give that gift to your boys.
So what do I want for my boys? for Kayden, and Asher, and Nolan, and Jace, and Stephen, and Sam, and Jack, and Parker, and Mac, and Jonathan, and Austin, and Zach, and Jacob, and Colton, and Wyatt, and Caleb, and Balta, and Isaac, and all the rest? I want them to be men who love their Savior, and their wives, and their children. I want them to be men who will stand up for what is right. I want them to hit home runs, and score soccer goals, and get dirty. I want them to sing in the choir or march in the band. I want them to trust God when He sends them as summer missionaries instead of working a full time job to earn money for college. I want them to be men who will step up to teach a Bible class or coach a little league team. I want them to be brave enough to mentor other boys (those without involved fathers) who need a man to admonish and encourage them. I want them to be great leaders and great followers. They need to know how to do both.
David's mighty men were brave, loyal, gallant, faithful, and real. They loved David and they loved their families. Remember Ziklag? They risked their lives for David simply by joining him as he ran from Saul. They seemed determined to uphold what God had made clear. And yes, sometimes too zealously. And in all of that they weren't afraid to rebuke David when necessary. They were followers, but they were also leaders. Scripture names each one separately. Seriously. What a Hall of Fame!
Friends, our communities need godly men now more than ever before. Referring again to the meeting with Kay Arthur a few months ago, she said one of their ministry's greatest needs is men who will lead Precept classes. Teach your sons to be Mighty Men of God. I'm praying for you and for them.
