At some point in the not so distant past our pastor was taking us through 1 Peter on Sunday mornings. Peter may very well be my favorite apostle - if one can have such a thing - because it seems I have many of his same character traits: Hoof and mouth disease, boldness to the point of obnoxious, reckless abandon, some deep-seated need for attention, denial of core beliefs, and deep shame for all of the above. For Peter, grace was not cheap.
As we were going through the book we came to the portion which deals with elders. One of the Suggested Reading resources was a daily devotional book, While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks, written by Dr. Timothy S. Laniak. It was referenced in our Sunday School class as well so Michael asked me to order one for each of the boys (who are men by the way), and to order us one. Oh boy!!! Another book!!! It was done.
In this book, Dr. Laniak has written devotions based on his years of living with and researching shepherds and their flocks in the Middle East and other places. His experiences have brought new meaning and insight into scripture's many references to shepherds, flocks, lambs, etc. Mike has been reading aloud a devotional each night before we go to sleep. It has been wonderful.
Except last night. I'm not sure I can relate on paper what is in my heart regarding last night's reading. My heart is truly heavy. It hurts. Maybe we should have known by the title? "A Living Sacrifice" John 10:11 In this entry, Dr. Laniak, who has been educating us on how well the shepherd knows his sheep, relates that 'he desired a more direct and even intimate experience with the process. . . .[he] needed to be the one who slit the throat of a harmless, patient, perfect lamb. I had to be responsible for its death. . . . . I needed to express physically what I had done to the Lamb of God.' And then in gut-wrenching detail he tells of his experience.
As soon as Michael started reading I wanted to shout, "Stop! I know where this is going and I don't want to hear, see, or feel it!" It reminded me of watching The Passion several years ago, when I wanted to close my eyes when the beating of Christ occurs and when the nails were hammered into his hands. I wanted to close my eyes, but God wouldn't let me. I needed to SEE what my sin had done to the Lamb of God, who laid down his life for me. And the lamb didn't fight back. It didn't struggle. It lay there quiet and still while Dr. Laniak cut its throat, and the life-giving blood ran out. . . . .
"But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth." Isaiah 53:5-7
"There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains."
I guess some days we just need to be reminded . . .
