Tonight Mike and I met for dinner at Ted's. Yummy! We haven't found anything bad on the menu. And it's Mexican food. And they serve queso and salsa with chips and freshly made flour tortillas as appetizers. And they have a relish tray they'll bring if you want. We don't eat out much since I've stopped working, so when we do it really is a treat.
All of that to say that when we were driving home it was dark outside, not dusk, but dark. I think Jeanna turned the outside lights on this afternoon at 4:30 p.m. Really. If there's anything that 'bothers' us about Oklahoma it's how early it gets dark in late November, December, and January. It kind of creeps up on you and before long you're turning on the outside lights at 4:30. Craziness.
We are going through the book of 1 Peter on Sunday mornings. You know, the epistle written by that apostle who was always saying or doing something to get himself in trouble? Yeah, then he comes back and says in the first chapter, As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." And how exactly do you walk that out without being an obnoxious jerk??? Alas.
Peter gives us clues as he fleshes out his letter. The speaker Sunday said, "Our lives should be marked by private purity, and an exemplary pattern in public life, trusting that this will have an impact on the world around us." How do we have private purity? We throw off evil deeds, we allow Christ to take our thoughts captive, we flee youthful lusts, we confront evil with the truth of God's word, we put on the armor, we think on good things . . . the list could go on.
And we know all these things, and the closer we walk with the mind of Christ, the easier it is to become involved in the lives of others. Messy, I know. And when we think we're getting the hang of it - Wow, if we're not careful we might still really believe that sin is what it says it is . . . Whoa, hold up a minute -- I want to make sure you understand that last sentence. The speaker said Sunday, "Isn't it fascinating that we still really believe that sin is what it says it is?" Ponder that. It's important.
If we're not paying attention, the darkness kind of creeps up on us, and before we know it we're turning on the outside lights at 4:30. And that IS craziness.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Hard Lessons Learned
It's been a busy week. One of my Frozen Yogurt Thursday friends texted me early this morning. "What?", says I, "It's Thursday already???" Oh dear. I know all of you have had weeks like that.
We left Edmond Saturday afternoon after a quilting class and headed to Abilene (ultimate destination Odessa, because it's spectacular). It was then that Kami (one of our awesome daughter-in-laws) mentioned the Penn State event. Friday had been so busy that I only heard the broadcasters mention Penn State. I just figured it was another round of the regular NCAA violations drama unfolding - with Penn State being the new target. It wasn't until Tuesday evening driving home that I finally heard the whole story. Mike will testify that the more I heard the quieter I became -- heading back to never never land.
That 2007 year? You know, the one I'm always mentioning? My co-workers and I learned a lot of hard lessons that year. And to clarify - we followed the letter of the law. We did everything and more regarding policy, expectations, and legal ramifications. CPS and law enforcement were brought in early on, and we worked diligently with both agencies. I would like to share with you some of the lessons we learned in hopes that if you ever find yourself facing anything similar you'll have an idea of what needs to be done.
Lesson One: When you are around a group of people everyday, all day long, you start seeing what you expect to see. You don't notice different nuances, attitudes, etc. It's like being around someone who is slowly but surely gaining weight but when you look at them? they are the same size as always. (I know, bad example, but you know what I mean.)
Lesson Two: When you're in the situation of Lesson One and someone outside the group comes in and hangs out for a while then pulls you aside with concerns about what they see? LISTEN and investigate. Their perspective is extremely valuable and usually right on the money.
Lesson Three: When kids start talking about something, and they bring it up over and over? LISTEN and investigate. More than once I've been told something and have then followed up on it. Investigations were completed, etc. and nothing concrete could be determined. But - when the 'story' refuses to die? (and this can go on for days or even months) It's time to get the big guns out and get down and dirty. Every time a story wouldn't go away -- it was happening -- even when it was the most ridiculous story of all. And I'm not talking about someone just 'reporting' something -- I'm talking about casual conversations and little snippets that you hear when no one has their 'guard' up.
Lesson Four: When you have six people doing the work of twelve things happen that shouldn't. Especially when two of the six have traumatic life experiences outside of work with which they are dealing. Exhaustion does not bode well for those in someone else's care. If you know those who work for an agency, and they are on the edge because of work hours or work load would you be brave enough to be an advocate for them? See Lesson Two.
After reading the timeline provided by CBS Sports and the Grand Jury report I am appalled. I am angry. Paterno, McQueary, and Spanier should never have been allowed back onto the campus when this story broke. There were lots of people who knew what Sandusky was doing, and they chose not to act. God help them.
Please be an advocate for your children, and not only yours, but others who may not have an adult in their life who is on top of things. Be persistent. Be an adult - a responsible adult. Don't bury your head in the sand. So far we have nine victims. Trust me, before it's all over there will be many more. And it could have been stopped over ten years ago. If only they had followed the letter of the law.
By the way, NCAA violations sound like a walk in the park. Yes?
We left Edmond Saturday afternoon after a quilting class and headed to Abilene (ultimate destination Odessa, because it's spectacular). It was then that Kami (one of our awesome daughter-in-laws) mentioned the Penn State event. Friday had been so busy that I only heard the broadcasters mention Penn State. I just figured it was another round of the regular NCAA violations drama unfolding - with Penn State being the new target. It wasn't until Tuesday evening driving home that I finally heard the whole story. Mike will testify that the more I heard the quieter I became -- heading back to never never land.
That 2007 year? You know, the one I'm always mentioning? My co-workers and I learned a lot of hard lessons that year. And to clarify - we followed the letter of the law. We did everything and more regarding policy, expectations, and legal ramifications. CPS and law enforcement were brought in early on, and we worked diligently with both agencies. I would like to share with you some of the lessons we learned in hopes that if you ever find yourself facing anything similar you'll have an idea of what needs to be done.
Lesson One: When you are around a group of people everyday, all day long, you start seeing what you expect to see. You don't notice different nuances, attitudes, etc. It's like being around someone who is slowly but surely gaining weight but when you look at them? they are the same size as always. (I know, bad example, but you know what I mean.)
Lesson Two: When you're in the situation of Lesson One and someone outside the group comes in and hangs out for a while then pulls you aside with concerns about what they see? LISTEN and investigate. Their perspective is extremely valuable and usually right on the money.
Lesson Three: When kids start talking about something, and they bring it up over and over? LISTEN and investigate. More than once I've been told something and have then followed up on it. Investigations were completed, etc. and nothing concrete could be determined. But - when the 'story' refuses to die? (and this can go on for days or even months) It's time to get the big guns out and get down and dirty. Every time a story wouldn't go away -- it was happening -- even when it was the most ridiculous story of all. And I'm not talking about someone just 'reporting' something -- I'm talking about casual conversations and little snippets that you hear when no one has their 'guard' up.
Lesson Four: When you have six people doing the work of twelve things happen that shouldn't. Especially when two of the six have traumatic life experiences outside of work with which they are dealing. Exhaustion does not bode well for those in someone else's care. If you know those who work for an agency, and they are on the edge because of work hours or work load would you be brave enough to be an advocate for them? See Lesson Two.
After reading the timeline provided by CBS Sports and the Grand Jury report I am appalled. I am angry. Paterno, McQueary, and Spanier should never have been allowed back onto the campus when this story broke. There were lots of people who knew what Sandusky was doing, and they chose not to act. God help them.
Please be an advocate for your children, and not only yours, but others who may not have an adult in their life who is on top of things. Be persistent. Be an adult - a responsible adult. Don't bury your head in the sand. So far we have nine victims. Trust me, before it's all over there will be many more. And it could have been stopped over ten years ago. If only they had followed the letter of the law.
By the way, NCAA violations sound like a walk in the park. Yes?
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Failure Isn't Final
I've been a little quiet on the western front lately. Has anyone noticed? Probably not. I've been hiding/mourning since my Texas Rangers let a World Series title slip through their fingers because they couldn't get one strike - twice. Oh, the disappointment of it all. Oh, the SHAME of it all. So much so that I couldn't bring myself to watch Friday night, and I haven't listened to any of my usual sports venues since. Sports have ceased to exist at my house.
Overreacting you say? Fair weather fan you say? Perhaps. Except that I still have a closet full of Ranger gear, and eventually the pain of losing will fade. And my boasting will remain silent for a time, but then they'll do spectacular again, and I'll have to be ridiculous. 'Tis the way of the sports world.
You've heard the saying, "Christians shoot their wounded." Right? And like you I can remember specific incidents in which that has happened. We do so like our rules and regulations - and that grace word? - well, surely you know that if you break one of the many 'laws' (spoken or unspoken) it no longer applies to you? And we know that because . . . . what? You mean scripture doesn't back that up? As one of Jason's classmates at HSU once said, "Well, I disagree with Paul here . . ." (really, a classmate did say that)
Anybody ever read the story of David? Yep, I'm back to 2 Samuel. David was such a good boy in 1 Samuel. And then his tiara got a little tarnished.
It was spring, and he didn't want to play war. So he ended up with Bathsheba. And it went downhill from there. He committed adultery, he betrayed one of his longtime friends, he used others to do his dirty work, he committed murder, and he was an absent father. And those are just some of the things we read about in scripture. I mean, he may not have used the KJV exclusively, and he probably liked contemporary music. The horror of it all.
And yet at the end of David's life we see that he has been front and center in his kingdom. He's made preparation for the building of the temple, he exhorts, he encourages, he challenges . . . At his death there is no mention of his sin -- only his length of tenure, where he reigned, and that he died at a ripe old age. And in other places he is called 'a man after God's own heart.' Repentance. Grace. A life celebrated.
God's forgiveness is real. And if God can forgive what is our problem? It says to me that we have set ourselves up as god. Blasphemy in its purest form.
Failure isn't final. The Bible tells me so.
Overreacting you say? Fair weather fan you say? Perhaps. Except that I still have a closet full of Ranger gear, and eventually the pain of losing will fade. And my boasting will remain silent for a time, but then they'll do spectacular again, and I'll have to be ridiculous. 'Tis the way of the sports world.
You've heard the saying, "Christians shoot their wounded." Right? And like you I can remember specific incidents in which that has happened. We do so like our rules and regulations - and that grace word? - well, surely you know that if you break one of the many 'laws' (spoken or unspoken) it no longer applies to you? And we know that because . . . . what? You mean scripture doesn't back that up? As one of Jason's classmates at HSU once said, "Well, I disagree with Paul here . . ." (really, a classmate did say that)
Anybody ever read the story of David? Yep, I'm back to 2 Samuel. David was such a good boy in 1 Samuel. And then his tiara got a little tarnished.
It was spring, and he didn't want to play war. So he ended up with Bathsheba. And it went downhill from there. He committed adultery, he betrayed one of his longtime friends, he used others to do his dirty work, he committed murder, and he was an absent father. And those are just some of the things we read about in scripture. I mean, he may not have used the KJV exclusively, and he probably liked contemporary music. The horror of it all.
And yet at the end of David's life we see that he has been front and center in his kingdom. He's made preparation for the building of the temple, he exhorts, he encourages, he challenges . . . At his death there is no mention of his sin -- only his length of tenure, where he reigned, and that he died at a ripe old age. And in other places he is called 'a man after God's own heart.' Repentance. Grace. A life celebrated.
God's forgiveness is real. And if God can forgive what is our problem? It says to me that we have set ourselves up as god. Blasphemy in its purest form.
Failure isn't final. The Bible tells me so.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Change & Other Ugly Words
I received a text from my youngest last night. He was letting us know he has a new cell number. Why? To communicate more easily with staff at his new church. He's had the other phone number since high school. Not a big deal, right?
Ummmm, as I was letting him know I had the new number a sudden surge of tears appeared from -- well I'm not sure from where. All I know is that one minute I'm updating my contact list, and the next minute I have tears falling down my face. Another thing from the past to let go of. Another sign that we're moving on. Another sign that nothing stays the same. Another sign that change is inevitable.
We don't like change. We resist it as much as possible in all areas of our life. Even if we're absolutely miserable we resist change. We get comfortable. We get lazy. We get apathetic. We adopt the attitude that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And although we would deny it with our very last breath, we like dull routine. It's comfortable and it's safe.
In one of my counseling classes we talked about the fact that the only constant in life is change. And where there is change, there is also grief. Isn't that happy?
Have I mentioned that 2007 was a really rough year? It started spiraling out of control right after we came back from the New Year holiday. And honestly it didn't spiral as much as it just flat out plummeted. Psalm 31 pretty much sums up that year for us. There was change and there was grief. And the grief was so overwhelming that I adopted a heart and face of stone in order to get through it. I was afraid if I ever started crying I would never stop.
And then came 2008. That year started with lots of changes as well. So many that we ended up in Oklahoma. And I still had my heart and face of stone. My armor if you will.
And the last few years God has been pulling away at the scab of 2007. And there's lots of tears to be shed. So many in fact that something as simple as a changed phone number brings tears....
Blessed be the Lord, for He has wondrously shown His steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. I had said in my alarm, "I am cut off from Your sight." But You heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to You for help. Psalm 31:21,22
Ummmm, as I was letting him know I had the new number a sudden surge of tears appeared from -- well I'm not sure from where. All I know is that one minute I'm updating my contact list, and the next minute I have tears falling down my face. Another thing from the past to let go of. Another sign that we're moving on. Another sign that nothing stays the same. Another sign that change is inevitable.
We don't like change. We resist it as much as possible in all areas of our life. Even if we're absolutely miserable we resist change. We get comfortable. We get lazy. We get apathetic. We adopt the attitude that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And although we would deny it with our very last breath, we like dull routine. It's comfortable and it's safe.
In one of my counseling classes we talked about the fact that the only constant in life is change. And where there is change, there is also grief. Isn't that happy?
Have I mentioned that 2007 was a really rough year? It started spiraling out of control right after we came back from the New Year holiday. And honestly it didn't spiral as much as it just flat out plummeted. Psalm 31 pretty much sums up that year for us. There was change and there was grief. And the grief was so overwhelming that I adopted a heart and face of stone in order to get through it. I was afraid if I ever started crying I would never stop.
And then came 2008. That year started with lots of changes as well. So many that we ended up in Oklahoma. And I still had my heart and face of stone. My armor if you will.
And the last few years God has been pulling away at the scab of 2007. And there's lots of tears to be shed. So many in fact that something as simple as a changed phone number brings tears....
Blessed be the Lord, for He has wondrously shown His steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. I had said in my alarm, "I am cut off from Your sight." But You heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to You for help. Psalm 31:21,22
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Get Yourselves Assembled!!!
Michael and I are in the process of transitioning into a new church family. They have made the transition a little easier by inviting us in. Saturday evening we had dinner with several couples and several 'singles.' The food was really good (homemade chicken pot pie) and the fellowship was sweet. Who can resist dessert when it's called 'Death by Chocolate?' It was rich enough to make your teeth itch.
The facilitators of the group did a great job of directing the conversation and asking pertinent kinds of questions. In other words, we didn't talk about the weather. Several were asked to share their stories about specific times in their lives. It was awesome.
As I sat and listened I was reminded of the great God we serve. They spoke of how God had walked with them through extremely difficult times. They spoke of how God was working around them and through others when they were totally unaware of His presence. They spoke of dear friends who walked through the hard times with them. They spoke of new relationships and how those had been brought about, and they rejoiced in friendships which had weathered the test of time. They spoke of the joy that abounded even during the darkest of days. There were tears and laughter. There was grief, but assurance that one day all will be well. And perhaps most remarkable of all was the gratitude each one felt toward their Father and others.
On a lighter note, one worked for a large drilling company that has a branch in Midland. He told us they always had a difficult time finding people who would transfer to Midland, but once there, they couldn't get them to leave. Hilarious. That speaks well of West Texas -- even though they wondered how in world we had lived there for 30+ years.
There's a reason the author of Hebrews admonishes us not to neglect the assembling of ourselves together. The writer obviously knew that hearing how God is working in the lives of others will encourage and strengthen our relationships with one another and with Him. It's good to hear that He's brought about miraculous things when we feel all alone and He feels far away. It is good to be reminded of how God has worked in our lives and continues to do so. It is good to know we aren't the only ones who struggle. It is good to be reminded that God is faithful, and we can trust Him with all things.
So, next time you get together with friends -- old or new -- ask them what God's been up to in their world. You might be surprised. You will definitely be encouraged.
The facilitators of the group did a great job of directing the conversation and asking pertinent kinds of questions. In other words, we didn't talk about the weather. Several were asked to share their stories about specific times in their lives. It was awesome.
As I sat and listened I was reminded of the great God we serve. They spoke of how God had walked with them through extremely difficult times. They spoke of how God was working around them and through others when they were totally unaware of His presence. They spoke of dear friends who walked through the hard times with them. They spoke of new relationships and how those had been brought about, and they rejoiced in friendships which had weathered the test of time. They spoke of the joy that abounded even during the darkest of days. There were tears and laughter. There was grief, but assurance that one day all will be well. And perhaps most remarkable of all was the gratitude each one felt toward their Father and others.
On a lighter note, one worked for a large drilling company that has a branch in Midland. He told us they always had a difficult time finding people who would transfer to Midland, but once there, they couldn't get them to leave. Hilarious. That speaks well of West Texas -- even though they wondered how in world we had lived there for 30+ years.
There's a reason the author of Hebrews admonishes us not to neglect the assembling of ourselves together. The writer obviously knew that hearing how God is working in the lives of others will encourage and strengthen our relationships with one another and with Him. It's good to hear that He's brought about miraculous things when we feel all alone and He feels far away. It is good to be reminded of how God has worked in our lives and continues to do so. It is good to know we aren't the only ones who struggle. It is good to be reminded that God is faithful, and we can trust Him with all things.
So, next time you get together with friends -- old or new -- ask them what God's been up to in their world. You might be surprised. You will definitely be encouraged.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Grace
When we first moved to Oklahoma we were staying in a two bedroom, fully furnished apartment in Oklahoma City. And the best part was that I wasn't working. It was wonderful. I was able to catch up on some reading and picked up John Piper's book Future Grace. I'm pretty sure there was lots in the book that was way over my head, which is probably why I don't write books and give lectures on doctrine. I don't even know how some one has the question, much less how they get the thought. Alas.
The basic premise is that grace has already been granted, whether it's for now or in the future. We can rest assured in the fact that God is sovereign, and He has made provision for whatever our needs are to come. As our pastor stated yesterday, "We should live expecting future grace because God will already be there." Piper says, "...it is all that God promises to be for us from this second on. Tomorrow's crisis demands tomorrow's grace."
That can be a difficult concept to grasp. We want security, not uncertainty. We judge everything by time. God lives outside of time. The illustration I used with my junior high students was to take a picture and put a small hole in it. I would then ask them to look at the hole/through the hole and describe to us what they could see -- only a very small piece of what was actual reality. If they moved the picture further away from their face, they could see everything. It was all about perspective. God sees the whole picture (and has provided for the whole picture), we just see a small, small speck of the picture. The problem comes when we want to see the whole picture, just like God.
Faith plays a big role in this. In Future Grace Piper states, "Faith is the act of our soul that turns away from our own insufficiency to the free and all-sufficient resources of God. Faith focuses on the freedom of God to dispense grace to the unworthy." Where does faith come from? Romans 10:17 says this, So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.
Piper also talks about 'grace denied.' We pray to have a safe trip or a good day or perfect health. But then God intervenes and reminds us that it's His way, not ours. Here's where the rubber meets the road isn't it? Here is where we can rest in Him and choose to trust, or we can allow our fear and emotions to rule. Our reaction can be to have a pity party, react in panic, or we can look around during the hard times and see who needs to be blessed by God's all sufficient grace for us. Piper says it like this, "The freest life of love is the life saturated with the confidence that nothing comes to me but what is good for me." I would add that it can also be good for those we come into contact with during that time.
My favorite phrase of the whole book? "His grace may break out anywhere He pleases." Isn't that the best? Love it, love it, love it!
Grace -- God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Such an inadequate definition for such a magnificent gift.
The basic premise is that grace has already been granted, whether it's for now or in the future. We can rest assured in the fact that God is sovereign, and He has made provision for whatever our needs are to come. As our pastor stated yesterday, "We should live expecting future grace because God will already be there." Piper says, "...it is all that God promises to be for us from this second on. Tomorrow's crisis demands tomorrow's grace."
That can be a difficult concept to grasp. We want security, not uncertainty. We judge everything by time. God lives outside of time. The illustration I used with my junior high students was to take a picture and put a small hole in it. I would then ask them to look at the hole/through the hole and describe to us what they could see -- only a very small piece of what was actual reality. If they moved the picture further away from their face, they could see everything. It was all about perspective. God sees the whole picture (and has provided for the whole picture), we just see a small, small speck of the picture. The problem comes when we want to see the whole picture, just like God.
Faith plays a big role in this. In Future Grace Piper states, "Faith is the act of our soul that turns away from our own insufficiency to the free and all-sufficient resources of God. Faith focuses on the freedom of God to dispense grace to the unworthy." Where does faith come from? Romans 10:17 says this, So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.
Piper also talks about 'grace denied.' We pray to have a safe trip or a good day or perfect health. But then God intervenes and reminds us that it's His way, not ours. Here's where the rubber meets the road isn't it? Here is where we can rest in Him and choose to trust, or we can allow our fear and emotions to rule. Our reaction can be to have a pity party, react in panic, or we can look around during the hard times and see who needs to be blessed by God's all sufficient grace for us. Piper says it like this, "The freest life of love is the life saturated with the confidence that nothing comes to me but what is good for me." I would add that it can also be good for those we come into contact with during that time.
My favorite phrase of the whole book? "His grace may break out anywhere He pleases." Isn't that the best? Love it, love it, love it!
Grace -- God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Such an inadequate definition for such a magnificent gift.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Odessa! It's Spectacular!!!
So as I'm on my way to Odessa Saturday afternoon, I get pulled over by a police officer outside of Wichita Falls. I had already passed him (as he sat on the side of the road), and didn't think much of it. I had my cruise control set to 71. No problem. Except that apparently there was a problem. As I pulled over I looked up and noticed the posted speed limit - 70. Unfortunately, until that point the speed limit was 60. Oops. Somewhere along there I decided the speed limit was already 70. To make a short story shorter, the officer was very kind, and he didn't give me a ticket. He did ask where I was headed. "I'm on my way to Odessa," says me. Says him, "Why in the world are you going to Odessa?!"
I can't tell you how many times I've had that reaction when people find out where I'm from. Usually I just say West Texas, then I don't have to explain or defend my town of origin. And it may as well be my town of origin. We moved to Odessa in March of 1967, when I was in the second grade. And from that time on, with the exception of the three years Mike and I lived in Lubbock, until July of 2008, I have called Odessa home.
I thought about that the rest of the trip. What, if anything, is spectacular about being from Odessa? Surprisingly enough I thought of several things.
Our family moved to Odessa from Seagraves. There were 9 weeks of second grade left. I loved Burleson Elementary School. It was the first time no one cared that I didn't take dance lessons or wear frilly bows with frilly dresses. We could just be friends because we were, not because of what our parents did or didn't do and what extracurricular activities I was involved in or not. There were tons of kids on the street we lived on, and we played as hard as we could until dark every night. That summer was the most fun ever.
We moved again right before school started. Third grade was at Goliad Elementary with Miss Cochrum. She was 12 feet tall with funny hair, but I loved her, as did the rest of my classmates. That year Debbie Thomas became my best friend ever, and we were friends with Kay Glenn, and Melody Baggett, and John Wier, and Stan Strifler, and many more. I learned that year that if you kick boys in the shin it can leave bruises and cuts, and after Stan showed me his the next day I was ashamed of myself and never did that again. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the best part, Gary Snow and I were chosen to represent our class in the Goliad King and Queen event in February. I still have a picture of us grinning from ear to ear, and I was a head taller than him. That changed somewhere in junior high . . . .
And then there was the year that one of my best friends had a crush on Paul Shepherd and so we would sit on the curb at Goliad in front of his house and wait. I'm not really sure what we were waiting on? Maybe Karen knew. : )
While at Goliad I also saw how devastating it was to lose a parent. One of our classmates lost his mother in fourth grade. I remember him being very sad, and I remember being sad for him. I was also scolded by Kay one year because of the way I had treated another classmate. Oh dear me. That's why I love the first Harry Potter book when Neville is awarded points for standing up to his friends. Kay would have earned points.
Then we were off to Hood with different class schedules and new friends and new experiences. I try to forget those years. I had great fun, but I was awful. I embarrass myself when I remember, so I try not to remember.
And then on to Permian where I realized that Mrs. Wier was famous. I thought she was fabulous, but I didn't realize all of Permian High School thought so as well. Permian High School -- home of multiple state football championships, numerous Merit Scholarship Award winners, excellent choral and band programs, and home of Friday Night Lights. Every time I've worn any Permian gear anywhere in the United States people ask me about Permian High School. Every time. They point and whisper. Every time.
And how can you talk about Odessa without mentioning Taco Villa and Rosa's? Is there anyone in Odessa who hasn't grown up eating there? You can always tell when someone is new to the area -- they have no inkling of Taco Villa. Sadness. And of course everyone knows when you move away the first place you stop when you come back through town is Taco Villa. It's a tradition. And may I just add that I learned that work is a good thing from Bobby Cox? He's the only millionaire I've ever known to flip burgers. At Texasburger -- Texasburger when it was still a hole in the wall place on 52nd & Andrews Hwy. Every Sunday night he'd be in the back flipping burgers. Amazing.
The sunsets in West Texas are unequaled anywhere. They are beautiful. There's something about being able to look out and see for miles. It just does a heart good. I've enjoyed having trees and grass and water in Oklahoma, but there are days I long to just see for miles.
And the people in Odessa are 'interesting'. Many are well-educated, others not so much. I've encountered the very wealthy, the very poor, the very moral, and the very immoral. And most of them I would count as friends. And I've learned something from every one of them, rich or poor, educated or not, walking a straight line or well acquainted with the 'under belly' of society. I love that about Odessa. And yes, I must confess that I always make fun of Junior Leaguers. Sorry ladies, I know you do great things, my foster families benefited from many of your projects.
Oh, and there's a giant jack rabbit, whose name is Jack.
So why am I headed to Odessa? Well, heck, because there's some spectacular things there!
I can't tell you how many times I've had that reaction when people find out where I'm from. Usually I just say West Texas, then I don't have to explain or defend my town of origin. And it may as well be my town of origin. We moved to Odessa in March of 1967, when I was in the second grade. And from that time on, with the exception of the three years Mike and I lived in Lubbock, until July of 2008, I have called Odessa home.
I thought about that the rest of the trip. What, if anything, is spectacular about being from Odessa? Surprisingly enough I thought of several things.
Our family moved to Odessa from Seagraves. There were 9 weeks of second grade left. I loved Burleson Elementary School. It was the first time no one cared that I didn't take dance lessons or wear frilly bows with frilly dresses. We could just be friends because we were, not because of what our parents did or didn't do and what extracurricular activities I was involved in or not. There were tons of kids on the street we lived on, and we played as hard as we could until dark every night. That summer was the most fun ever.
We moved again right before school started. Third grade was at Goliad Elementary with Miss Cochrum. She was 12 feet tall with funny hair, but I loved her, as did the rest of my classmates. That year Debbie Thomas became my best friend ever, and we were friends with Kay Glenn, and Melody Baggett, and John Wier, and Stan Strifler, and many more. I learned that year that if you kick boys in the shin it can leave bruises and cuts, and after Stan showed me his the next day I was ashamed of myself and never did that again. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the best part, Gary Snow and I were chosen to represent our class in the Goliad King and Queen event in February. I still have a picture of us grinning from ear to ear, and I was a head taller than him. That changed somewhere in junior high . . . .
And then there was the year that one of my best friends had a crush on Paul Shepherd and so we would sit on the curb at Goliad in front of his house and wait. I'm not really sure what we were waiting on? Maybe Karen knew. : )
While at Goliad I also saw how devastating it was to lose a parent. One of our classmates lost his mother in fourth grade. I remember him being very sad, and I remember being sad for him. I was also scolded by Kay one year because of the way I had treated another classmate. Oh dear me. That's why I love the first Harry Potter book when Neville is awarded points for standing up to his friends. Kay would have earned points.
Then we were off to Hood with different class schedules and new friends and new experiences. I try to forget those years. I had great fun, but I was awful. I embarrass myself when I remember, so I try not to remember.
And then on to Permian where I realized that Mrs. Wier was famous. I thought she was fabulous, but I didn't realize all of Permian High School thought so as well. Permian High School -- home of multiple state football championships, numerous Merit Scholarship Award winners, excellent choral and band programs, and home of Friday Night Lights. Every time I've worn any Permian gear anywhere in the United States people ask me about Permian High School. Every time. They point and whisper. Every time.
And how can you talk about Odessa without mentioning Taco Villa and Rosa's? Is there anyone in Odessa who hasn't grown up eating there? You can always tell when someone is new to the area -- they have no inkling of Taco Villa. Sadness. And of course everyone knows when you move away the first place you stop when you come back through town is Taco Villa. It's a tradition. And may I just add that I learned that work is a good thing from Bobby Cox? He's the only millionaire I've ever known to flip burgers. At Texasburger -- Texasburger when it was still a hole in the wall place on 52nd & Andrews Hwy. Every Sunday night he'd be in the back flipping burgers. Amazing.
The sunsets in West Texas are unequaled anywhere. They are beautiful. There's something about being able to look out and see for miles. It just does a heart good. I've enjoyed having trees and grass and water in Oklahoma, but there are days I long to just see for miles.
And the people in Odessa are 'interesting'. Many are well-educated, others not so much. I've encountered the very wealthy, the very poor, the very moral, and the very immoral. And most of them I would count as friends. And I've learned something from every one of them, rich or poor, educated or not, walking a straight line or well acquainted with the 'under belly' of society. I love that about Odessa. And yes, I must confess that I always make fun of Junior Leaguers. Sorry ladies, I know you do great things, my foster families benefited from many of your projects.
Oh, and there's a giant jack rabbit, whose name is Jack.
So why am I headed to Odessa? Well, heck, because there's some spectacular things there!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Boldness or Comfort?
Have you ever noticed that when we pray we ask for deliverance, healing, comfort, or more of whatever it is we want? Just wondering.
Have you ever heard people talk about going through difficult times and then testify about how much God taught them through those experiences - and how they wouldn't want anything about that time to change?
We are on a journey through Acts right now, and as I read I am stunned by the fact that the early believers did not pray for the persecution to stop. No, they prayed for boldness in order to speak clearly and continually about their Savior. And as I'm thinking about that, I'm reminded that later Paul often spoke of how he was able to witness to those around him while in prison.
What if we prayed for boldness instead of deliverance? What if we prayed for illness rather than healing? What if we prayed for discomfort instead of comfort. What if we stopped trying to acquire things and spent all that effort on helping others? What if we prayed that WE would be bold? What if we prayed that through everything God would be glorified? What might God reveal to us about Himself if we prayed differently?
What if . . . .
Psalm 116:12-14: What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord, I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of His people.
Have you ever heard people talk about going through difficult times and then testify about how much God taught them through those experiences - and how they wouldn't want anything about that time to change?
We are on a journey through Acts right now, and as I read I am stunned by the fact that the early believers did not pray for the persecution to stop. No, they prayed for boldness in order to speak clearly and continually about their Savior. And as I'm thinking about that, I'm reminded that later Paul often spoke of how he was able to witness to those around him while in prison.
What if we prayed for boldness instead of deliverance? What if we prayed for illness rather than healing? What if we prayed for discomfort instead of comfort. What if we stopped trying to acquire things and spent all that effort on helping others? What if we prayed that WE would be bold? What if we prayed that through everything God would be glorified? What might God reveal to us about Himself if we prayed differently?
What if . . . .
Psalm 116:12-14: What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord, I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of His people.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Random Thoughts on Prayer
Prayer. A six-letter word that can be more difficult than it sounds. How do we do it? What is its purpose? How often do we do it? What are we to pray about? Who and what should we pray for? So many questions.
Prayer is not a natural for me. As a matter of fact it's a real struggle at times. Now, if you tell me that it's all about having a conversation with God? I think I do that almost always. One conversation right after another -- about everything that's going on in my realm at the time -- both mundane and important.
I have friends, some of you know them, Dana, Jana, and Jennifer, who melt my heart of stone when they pray. Their prayers make me feel as though I've entered the very throne room of God. If I had to say what I've missed most about being home? That would probably be it. Praying with Dana, Jana, and Jennifer. I'm so glad God has given me the privilege of hearing them . . .
Last year our small group started a video series by Jim Cymbala, pastor of The Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York City. Their experience with prayer is amazing and well documented. One of the things that has stuck with me from that series is this, when they pray for someone they pray that ultimately that person would come to the place where they will call upon the name of the Lord. Let that roll around and settle in your brain and then your heart for a few minutes. At the risk of offending some of you -- that scares the hell out of me. Maybe because I know how stubborn I can be at times.
This morning as I was trying to finish up the study in 2 Samuel (there's been lots of interruptions) I came across this passage in 1 Chronicles 29:18. David is praying for his people and for Solomon. "Oh LORD, the GOD of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, our fathers, preserve this forever in the intentions of the heart of Your people, and direct their heart to You." Sweet, sweet magnificence.
If I call upon the name of the Lord who or what can interfere with that? When I call upon the name of the Lord I've gone straight to the top. He alone has all the answers I need. He alone can release me from the chains that bind. With Jesus as our High Priest we ARE in the very throne room of God. Amazing.
If I pray for your heart to be directed to God where else can you go? Is there any better place to be? Who else can calm your fears, convict you of sin, and heal your mind, body, soul, and spirit? There is no one else.
Two short lines, but so powerful. And so for all who read this today and others on my heart, here is my prayer for you: May you call upon the name of the Lord, and may your heart be directed to Him.
This blog is dedicated to those beautiful friends of mine who speak so sweetly and so eloquently when they talk with their Father. I love you ladies! - Dana Hodges, Jana McDonald, Jennifer Parker
Prayer is not a natural for me. As a matter of fact it's a real struggle at times. Now, if you tell me that it's all about having a conversation with God? I think I do that almost always. One conversation right after another -- about everything that's going on in my realm at the time -- both mundane and important.
I have friends, some of you know them, Dana, Jana, and Jennifer, who melt my heart of stone when they pray. Their prayers make me feel as though I've entered the very throne room of God. If I had to say what I've missed most about being home? That would probably be it. Praying with Dana, Jana, and Jennifer. I'm so glad God has given me the privilege of hearing them . . .
Last year our small group started a video series by Jim Cymbala, pastor of The Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York City. Their experience with prayer is amazing and well documented. One of the things that has stuck with me from that series is this, when they pray for someone they pray that ultimately that person would come to the place where they will call upon the name of the Lord. Let that roll around and settle in your brain and then your heart for a few minutes. At the risk of offending some of you -- that scares the hell out of me. Maybe because I know how stubborn I can be at times.
This morning as I was trying to finish up the study in 2 Samuel (there's been lots of interruptions) I came across this passage in 1 Chronicles 29:18. David is praying for his people and for Solomon. "Oh LORD, the GOD of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, our fathers, preserve this forever in the intentions of the heart of Your people, and direct their heart to You." Sweet, sweet magnificence.
If I call upon the name of the Lord who or what can interfere with that? When I call upon the name of the Lord I've gone straight to the top. He alone has all the answers I need. He alone can release me from the chains that bind. With Jesus as our High Priest we ARE in the very throne room of God. Amazing.
If I pray for your heart to be directed to God where else can you go? Is there any better place to be? Who else can calm your fears, convict you of sin, and heal your mind, body, soul, and spirit? There is no one else.
Two short lines, but so powerful. And so for all who read this today and others on my heart, here is my prayer for you: May you call upon the name of the Lord, and may your heart be directed to Him.
This blog is dedicated to those beautiful friends of mine who speak so sweetly and so eloquently when they talk with their Father. I love you ladies! - Dana Hodges, Jana McDonald, Jennifer Parker
Monday, September 12, 2011
Not Just A Quilt
I started a beginning quilting class on Saturday. My Mamma made many, many quilts, and I can never remember a time when she wasn't working on one. Most were pieced and quilted by hand. I used to love looking at the finished product and seeing pieces of different articles of clothing worn by myself or some member of the family. Always a fun thing. And yes, I still have many of her quilts. They hold a very special place in my heart.
Since I need another project to add to the long list of ongoing projects (sarcasm font) I decided it was time to get busy. I went from being the only girl who never took home-ec in school to being the mom who made everything our family wore. The only thing I didn't master was making Mike's dress pants. Then, like other moms I had to start working full time, and the sewing machine went into the closet for 20 years. It's been out the last year making blankets for little guys. O Happy Day!
Oh, and I also taught sewing classes. So, imagine my surprise when I go to the first class and learn all kinds of new things! I am so excited. And of course, technology and new methods and products continue to evolve, meaning I am way behind. Some of my notions will need to be replaced, because it's important to use the right tools. Michael will be so impressed. Not.
After some basic lingo instruction we discussed the correct way to cut the fabric using a rotary cutter and mat. I can't tell you how many inches of ribbing for t-shirts I've used that process on. Millions, okay, maybe just thousands, but a lot. Our instructor stressed the importance of squaring up the fabric in order to make precision cuts, and the need to re-square everything after the third cut. If you get off just a little on one cut by the end of 12 you could be in serious trouble. The seam width is also very important. So important that we were given fabric pieces to practice on in order to get the correct settings on our machines.
There are some great spiritual parallels here. In the quilt of our lives we have 'pieces' from many different places. We can look back and see the influences and impacts made by other people. Some of them were made directly, some were made indirectly - a piece of fabric from someone else's clothing. And those influences, like pieces of a quilt, show up in different patterns, and different paradigms depending on the time and event. We continue to learn and gain new insights. And new pieces are being introduced all the time. And they all come together to make us who we are and who we are becoming. Some of the pieces we really like, they are our favorites. There are others we'd love to forget, if only we could.
Occasionally we need to stop and 'square-up.' We need to do some checking and make sure we're on the right track. Are we using the right tools? Are we using them correctly? It's easy to get off track. We start letting things in a little at a time - an eighth of a inch that ends up being a whole inch. An inch that distorts, warps, and damages the finished product. An inch that makes the quilt difficult to work with, makes it hard to look at, and causes pain to the creator and those around it.
Hebrews says, "the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." God's word is our 'squarer-up-er'. When we learn and study different pieces of it we are influenced by it, given deeper insights.
We think we know one part well and then a different instructor comes on the scene and refreshes and updates the truth for us. It means different things to us at different times. A verse that once convicted and admonished now speaks comfort and rest. It reminds us of who we were, and who we are becoming in Christ Jesus. It encourages and admonishes to keep us from self-inflicted pain. It reminds us that He is using everything to make us into a new creature, a beautiful creation.
Is He teaching you new things? Is He updating and giving you new insights into what you already know? Is He bringing you the correct tools? Is He telling you to 'square-up?' Are you even paying attention to know what He's doing? He IS the Master Quilter, and He longs to make a beautiful creation, each one unique, each one with its own purpose, each one with its own flaws which He makes right.
O Happy Day!
Since I need another project to add to the long list of ongoing projects (sarcasm font) I decided it was time to get busy. I went from being the only girl who never took home-ec in school to being the mom who made everything our family wore. The only thing I didn't master was making Mike's dress pants. Then, like other moms I had to start working full time, and the sewing machine went into the closet for 20 years. It's been out the last year making blankets for little guys. O Happy Day!
Oh, and I also taught sewing classes. So, imagine my surprise when I go to the first class and learn all kinds of new things! I am so excited. And of course, technology and new methods and products continue to evolve, meaning I am way behind. Some of my notions will need to be replaced, because it's important to use the right tools. Michael will be so impressed. Not.
After some basic lingo instruction we discussed the correct way to cut the fabric using a rotary cutter and mat. I can't tell you how many inches of ribbing for t-shirts I've used that process on. Millions, okay, maybe just thousands, but a lot. Our instructor stressed the importance of squaring up the fabric in order to make precision cuts, and the need to re-square everything after the third cut. If you get off just a little on one cut by the end of 12 you could be in serious trouble. The seam width is also very important. So important that we were given fabric pieces to practice on in order to get the correct settings on our machines.
There are some great spiritual parallels here. In the quilt of our lives we have 'pieces' from many different places. We can look back and see the influences and impacts made by other people. Some of them were made directly, some were made indirectly - a piece of fabric from someone else's clothing. And those influences, like pieces of a quilt, show up in different patterns, and different paradigms depending on the time and event. We continue to learn and gain new insights. And new pieces are being introduced all the time. And they all come together to make us who we are and who we are becoming. Some of the pieces we really like, they are our favorites. There are others we'd love to forget, if only we could.
Occasionally we need to stop and 'square-up.' We need to do some checking and make sure we're on the right track. Are we using the right tools? Are we using them correctly? It's easy to get off track. We start letting things in a little at a time - an eighth of a inch that ends up being a whole inch. An inch that distorts, warps, and damages the finished product. An inch that makes the quilt difficult to work with, makes it hard to look at, and causes pain to the creator and those around it.
Hebrews says, "the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." God's word is our 'squarer-up-er'. When we learn and study different pieces of it we are influenced by it, given deeper insights.
We think we know one part well and then a different instructor comes on the scene and refreshes and updates the truth for us. It means different things to us at different times. A verse that once convicted and admonished now speaks comfort and rest. It reminds us of who we were, and who we are becoming in Christ Jesus. It encourages and admonishes to keep us from self-inflicted pain. It reminds us that He is using everything to make us into a new creature, a beautiful creation.
Is He teaching you new things? Is He updating and giving you new insights into what you already know? Is He bringing you the correct tools? Is He telling you to 'square-up?' Are you even paying attention to know what He's doing? He IS the Master Quilter, and He longs to make a beautiful creation, each one unique, each one with its own purpose, each one with its own flaws which He makes right.
O Happy Day!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Great Expectations
While participating in Beth Moore's study of Esther a couple of years ago I kept being intrigued by her referral to a young woman who felt guilty because she had not lived up to everyone's expectations of her. That's played around in my head on occasion. We are good at telling children and youth they are 'special' and can do 'great things' if they just put their minds to it. Are we doing them a favor by telling them that, and what exactly are 'great things?'
Our daughter and youngest son both finished their bachelor's degrees in just three and a half years. Part of that feat was due to taking concurrent classes in high school, the other part was due to them being focused on what they wanted. We assumed the same thing would happen once they started grad school. Each had a specific goal in mind, a plan from God, if you will, about where and what they were to be doing. But it didn't happen that way. Were their expectations set too high? Did they hear the 'wrong' voice from God?
Recently, our daughter has started seeing someone. He lives in Chicago (everyone calm down-he's a Texas boy). He came down one weekend to see Jeanna and to meet us. The siblings are all abuzz. Their expectations for him are high, after all, it's Jeanna. This last weekend he met her in DFW to meet her friends. Their expectations are also high. He has yet to meet the siblings, but I'm thinking the DFW crowd was good practice. I actually felt bad for him having to face them. They're a great crowd, but those expectations . . .
So again, the question, "Is it fair to put our expectations on someone else. Heck, is it even fair for us to put expectations on ourselves?" Perhaps.
We know that children perform at a higher level when high expectations are set. On a personal level, I know that I perform at a higher level when certain expectations are placed on me. I'm guessing you've experienced the same.
Maybe the answer lies in the rigidity or flexibility of our expectations (and the expectations of others). Maybe when we remember that God is sovereign, and He has no problem changing our plans and those that we think are His plans, life just becomes a little more forgiving. Isn't that called grace? Maybe those changes are a reminder to us about who is actually in control.
Maybe we need to re-define 'great things'. Instead of that meaning we will be well-known in our field, or command great audiences, or invent new policies, etc., maybe it just means that we quietly go about engaging others in our workplace, or at Wal-Mart, or the kid behind the counter at the fast food place. Maybe it means we encourage someone else in a bible study class, or the gym, or when we're getting a pedicure. Maybe it means God has other things He wants to share with us and that fast-track we're on needs to be interrupted in order to get our attention.
Maybe we just need to be concerned with what God's expectations of us are. Are we available? Are we aware? Are we intentional? Are we always on mission? Micah 6:8 says, "And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Sounds simple doesn't it?
One of the most important things I learned during our addiction treatment process was this, "Trust people to be who they are." I get push back on that a lot, but wow-to me, it screams 'Freedom!' For example, we trusted our teenagers to make good decisions, to act on the principles we had instilled in them since birth. But when they were seventeen? I trusted them to be seventeen. I knew they would make good decisions for the most part, but I also knew they had those 17-year-old brains, ideas, hormones, influences . . . I knew that some days they were going to act as if they were 17. And when they did, there were no meltdowns, recriminations, hateful words spoken in anger. . . It meant that we set down the consequences, used those as teaching moments, and moved on. And yes, we messed up too. We were parents who had our own issues (you know, like not liking rules and stuff)
So, do you make others feel guilty because they aren't meeting your expectations? Are you beating yourself up because you haven't lived up to others expectations of you? or the expectations you have for yourself? Maybe it's time to have a heart to heart with the One who knows all things. Maybe what He wants is for you to stop striving and to rest in who He is. Maybe it's time to concentrate on being instead of doing. His expectations are high, but there's help, grace, and mercy to meet them. And chances are, you're right where He wants you to be in order to work on those expectations.
Our daughter and youngest son both finished their bachelor's degrees in just three and a half years. Part of that feat was due to taking concurrent classes in high school, the other part was due to them being focused on what they wanted. We assumed the same thing would happen once they started grad school. Each had a specific goal in mind, a plan from God, if you will, about where and what they were to be doing. But it didn't happen that way. Were their expectations set too high? Did they hear the 'wrong' voice from God?
Recently, our daughter has started seeing someone. He lives in Chicago (everyone calm down-he's a Texas boy). He came down one weekend to see Jeanna and to meet us. The siblings are all abuzz. Their expectations for him are high, after all, it's Jeanna. This last weekend he met her in DFW to meet her friends. Their expectations are also high. He has yet to meet the siblings, but I'm thinking the DFW crowd was good practice. I actually felt bad for him having to face them. They're a great crowd, but those expectations . . .
So again, the question, "Is it fair to put our expectations on someone else. Heck, is it even fair for us to put expectations on ourselves?" Perhaps.
We know that children perform at a higher level when high expectations are set. On a personal level, I know that I perform at a higher level when certain expectations are placed on me. I'm guessing you've experienced the same.
Maybe the answer lies in the rigidity or flexibility of our expectations (and the expectations of others). Maybe when we remember that God is sovereign, and He has no problem changing our plans and those that we think are His plans, life just becomes a little more forgiving. Isn't that called grace? Maybe those changes are a reminder to us about who is actually in control.
Maybe we need to re-define 'great things'. Instead of that meaning we will be well-known in our field, or command great audiences, or invent new policies, etc., maybe it just means that we quietly go about engaging others in our workplace, or at Wal-Mart, or the kid behind the counter at the fast food place. Maybe it means we encourage someone else in a bible study class, or the gym, or when we're getting a pedicure. Maybe it means God has other things He wants to share with us and that fast-track we're on needs to be interrupted in order to get our attention.
Maybe we just need to be concerned with what God's expectations of us are. Are we available? Are we aware? Are we intentional? Are we always on mission? Micah 6:8 says, "And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Sounds simple doesn't it?
One of the most important things I learned during our addiction treatment process was this, "Trust people to be who they are." I get push back on that a lot, but wow-to me, it screams 'Freedom!' For example, we trusted our teenagers to make good decisions, to act on the principles we had instilled in them since birth. But when they were seventeen? I trusted them to be seventeen. I knew they would make good decisions for the most part, but I also knew they had those 17-year-old brains, ideas, hormones, influences . . . I knew that some days they were going to act as if they were 17. And when they did, there were no meltdowns, recriminations, hateful words spoken in anger. . . It meant that we set down the consequences, used those as teaching moments, and moved on. And yes, we messed up too. We were parents who had our own issues (you know, like not liking rules and stuff)
So, do you make others feel guilty because they aren't meeting your expectations? Are you beating yourself up because you haven't lived up to others expectations of you? or the expectations you have for yourself? Maybe it's time to have a heart to heart with the One who knows all things. Maybe what He wants is for you to stop striving and to rest in who He is. Maybe it's time to concentrate on being instead of doing. His expectations are high, but there's help, grace, and mercy to meet them. And chances are, you're right where He wants you to be in order to work on those expectations.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Trust and Obey
Oh dear. I'm always shocked at how much time has passed in between each writing. My new goal is to post once a week. We shall see how that works out. Now that I've written it for the world to read perhaps I will attempt to be more accountable. And again, oh dear.
I have wanted to blog about 2 Samuel 6 since completing the lesson earlier this summer. The subject keeps rolling around in my brain, pushing, pulling, nagging, convicting ... The problem is I'm just not sure how to deal with what I've learned in this passage. It's called for action on my part, and making decisions that I really don't want to make.
Those who have known me well for a long time know two things about me. 1) I am a non-conformist. I'm not sure I mean to be, or set out to be, it just happens that way. 2) I am not particularly fond of rules. In my humble estimation rules are basically written for people like me to break. I don't mean to be disagreeable, I don't even mean to be disobedient, it's just that rules get in my way. And yes, I've matured enough to know that some rules are written in granite, and they aren't going anywhere, and out of respect to others I try to be agreeable to 'the rules.'
In Chapter Six we read the story of David and the people of Israel moving the ark of the covenant from the house of Abinadab to Jerusalem. They have made a new cart for the ark to be carried on, they are celebrating before the Lord with all kinds of instruments, and then they come to the threshing floor of Nacon. The oxen pulling the cart apparently stumble and the cart appears to be falling over. Uzzah, leading the cart, reaches out his hand to catch the ark and we read, "And the anger of the Lord burned against Uzzah, and God struck him down there for his irreverence; and he died there by the ark of God." What??? Did I really just read that? Did I miss something?
I don't know about you, but this story has bothered me most of my life. I just don't understand. David made a NEW cart. They were celebrating. They were worshiping God. The ark was about to fall on the ground. Uzzah was doing a GOOD thing! Right? Or was he? And what was David's role in all of this?
I remember discussing this passage with a friend about 12 years ago. She had read a book which mentioned this incident, and the line in the book said something like this, (God's talking), "You think your hand is cleaner than the dirt I created???" Ouch. Well that certainly added a different element into the story, so for 12 years I've walked around wondering what to do with that little thought.
Well, let's skip over to 1 Chronicles 15:1-16:4. Here we read that David and the people had not moved the ark according to the ordinances of God. Only the Levites were allowed to carry the ark of the covenant. Not only that, there were cleansings to be performed before they could carry the ark. It was to be carried in a specific manner. Very detailed instruction had been given by God to Moses on the handling of the ark of the covenant. David had neglected those instructions. There doesn't appear to be any rebellion on the part of David, no animosity, no defiance on his part, he just didn't heed the full counsel of God.
One of the questions asked in the study was, "What can you learn from today's study that you can apply to your life?" Here are some of my answers: 1) It is important to ask God for instruction/guidance; 2) His ways are holy; 3) Obedience to Him/His ways bring order and joy; 4) Disregarding His law/precepts/foundations brings pain and death
Did David know the rules? I don't know. But in this case, even if he didn't, ignorance was no excuse. And it didn't change the outcome-Uzzah still died. Sometimes you just have to follow the rules. Even when you mean well, like Uzzah. Even when you're the king, or the leader, or the parent, or the rule-breaker . . .
We can debate all we want about what we deem the 'non-negotiables', and we can pretend that God is who we think He should be, and that for us He will make an exception. But frankly, I haven't seen much evidence of that. It's sobering isn't it? And the ramifications are staggering. And the responsibility of knowing is daunting.
Trust and obey, there is no other way . . .
I have wanted to blog about 2 Samuel 6 since completing the lesson earlier this summer. The subject keeps rolling around in my brain, pushing, pulling, nagging, convicting ... The problem is I'm just not sure how to deal with what I've learned in this passage. It's called for action on my part, and making decisions that I really don't want to make.
Those who have known me well for a long time know two things about me. 1) I am a non-conformist. I'm not sure I mean to be, or set out to be, it just happens that way. 2) I am not particularly fond of rules. In my humble estimation rules are basically written for people like me to break. I don't mean to be disagreeable, I don't even mean to be disobedient, it's just that rules get in my way. And yes, I've matured enough to know that some rules are written in granite, and they aren't going anywhere, and out of respect to others I try to be agreeable to 'the rules.'
In Chapter Six we read the story of David and the people of Israel moving the ark of the covenant from the house of Abinadab to Jerusalem. They have made a new cart for the ark to be carried on, they are celebrating before the Lord with all kinds of instruments, and then they come to the threshing floor of Nacon. The oxen pulling the cart apparently stumble and the cart appears to be falling over. Uzzah, leading the cart, reaches out his hand to catch the ark and we read, "And the anger of the Lord burned against Uzzah, and God struck him down there for his irreverence; and he died there by the ark of God." What??? Did I really just read that? Did I miss something?
I don't know about you, but this story has bothered me most of my life. I just don't understand. David made a NEW cart. They were celebrating. They were worshiping God. The ark was about to fall on the ground. Uzzah was doing a GOOD thing! Right? Or was he? And what was David's role in all of this?
I remember discussing this passage with a friend about 12 years ago. She had read a book which mentioned this incident, and the line in the book said something like this, (God's talking), "You think your hand is cleaner than the dirt I created???" Ouch. Well that certainly added a different element into the story, so for 12 years I've walked around wondering what to do with that little thought.
Well, let's skip over to 1 Chronicles 15:1-16:4. Here we read that David and the people had not moved the ark according to the ordinances of God. Only the Levites were allowed to carry the ark of the covenant. Not only that, there were cleansings to be performed before they could carry the ark. It was to be carried in a specific manner. Very detailed instruction had been given by God to Moses on the handling of the ark of the covenant. David had neglected those instructions. There doesn't appear to be any rebellion on the part of David, no animosity, no defiance on his part, he just didn't heed the full counsel of God.
One of the questions asked in the study was, "What can you learn from today's study that you can apply to your life?" Here are some of my answers: 1) It is important to ask God for instruction/guidance; 2) His ways are holy; 3) Obedience to Him/His ways bring order and joy; 4) Disregarding His law/precepts/foundations brings pain and death
Did David know the rules? I don't know. But in this case, even if he didn't, ignorance was no excuse. And it didn't change the outcome-Uzzah still died. Sometimes you just have to follow the rules. Even when you mean well, like Uzzah. Even when you're the king, or the leader, or the parent, or the rule-breaker . . .
We can debate all we want about what we deem the 'non-negotiables', and we can pretend that God is who we think He should be, and that for us He will make an exception. But frankly, I haven't seen much evidence of that. It's sobering isn't it? And the ramifications are staggering. And the responsibility of knowing is daunting.
Trust and obey, there is no other way . . .
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Random Thoughts
I knew July was going to be crazy, and indeed, it has not let me down. June was fairly quiet, which has made all the difference I think. From spending time with Asher and Kristi to hanging out on Edisto Beach with the Wright family for a week God has not been silent. His Spirit is always there whispering, bumping, and pointing out things of great worth that He does not want me to miss. Actually, the story begins in late May on our first trip to Malakoff.
We attended church with Nathan and Kristi the third Sunday in May. Their pastor and his wife had just returned from an adoption conference in Kentucky. His sermon that morning was titled, "The Silent Call." He began spewing out numbers reflecting children who were orphans around the world. He also brought it home and gave numbers for Texas and then their county. I always think I should be accustomed to hearing such things because I worked in the field, but I have to tell you that any time those figures are repeated I feel as though I've been punched in the gut. Staggering. As a church we've lost our way. Our comforts have become more important to us than our children. The major prophets all spoke to the same issues when dealing with a sinful Israel. What were those issues? 1) Idolatry 2) Adultery 3) Their neglect of orphans and widows Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.
The next event also happened at church on a Sunday morning in Malakoff. The pastor's message was again challenging. The sermon was entitled "Investing in Authentic Returns," and the following points were made: 1) Faith Requires Action 2) Action Requires Awareness 3) Awareness Requires Responsibility and 4) Responsibility Requires Intentionality. I'll let you do your own wrestling with those.
The most exciting thing for me that morning was watching him baptize his own young son (our pastor recently did that as well) and then baptize two older men. One appeared to have numerous health issues and required many extra hands to get him into the baptistry, yet he was determined to be there. The other was more middle-aged, and clearly broken by the love of a faithful Savior. The latter had come to Christ as he developed a relationship with the pastor at a block party sponsored by the church. It was an amazing reminder of how Christ pursues us, young with little experience, and old with many regrets. All three answered the call to "come and see."
And then we were off to Edisto Island to spend a week on the beach with family. We have spent many, many days on a beach, but never consecutive days. We were absolutely amazed at how the beach changed from day to day, morning to evening. So for all you folks who make fun of me for changing my furniture around every other week or so I'll have you know that God does the same, only His is at the beach. And for the record, I love brown pelicans. They are amazing. They are huge, and brown, and ugly, but they can soar in the air so gracefully. It was fun to watch them as they flew together in formation, 15 to 20 in each flock. Incredible.
It's also good to see family, make new memories, and remember other times -- some good, some not so good. I love to hear and see how God is working in their lives. Sometimes there's ultimate blessings to share, and at times hard, brutal lessons to learn -- and two truths always make themselves known. 1) Our sin not only affects us, but ripples down and affects everyone around us; and 2) God is close, loves us dearly, and never leaves us hanging. There are new jobs, new friendships, new struggles, new insights, and a HUGE God who takes every step with us. Amazing.
While at the beach we received news. News that made us laugh out loud and shake our heads. We also had news that broke our hearts, kept us awake until the early hours of morning, and brought flowing tears of grief. And to be honest, the question is always the same, why? And again, God reminds us that He is sovereign, His ways are not our ways, and He has a plan. I don't particularly care for any of those answers. But I know those are the right answers because we've walked this path before. A family member said last week that they always thought if you trusted God and did the right thing hard things wouldn't happen to you. If only. Scripture tells a different story. We are being conformed into the image of Christ, and Christ suffered. Bummer.
We made it home Friday evening. The puppies were happy to see us. Jeanna was happy to see us. Saturday we went to a production of Ragtime. It was awesome. So many of the truths God has pointed out to me over the last few weeks were restated in this production. And, as usual, it's the off the wall stuff that sticks in my head. Younger Brother is standing in front of Coalhouse offering him aid. In his head (Younger Brother's) he is making all of these encouraging, factual statements (which are being sung by the Company), yet all that comes out of his mouth is, "I can blow things up!"
Alas, our hearts think so deeply and we have so much we want to say, yet all we can manage is, "I can blow things up!" Such was my dilemma last week as we attempted (on my part anyway) to pray before our last meal together. So the prayers for our family may remain unspoken, but they do not remain un-prayed. Our heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself can attest to the desires of my heart when it comes to family. And even without my spoken prayers, He holds each one in the palm of His hand.
We attended church with Nathan and Kristi the third Sunday in May. Their pastor and his wife had just returned from an adoption conference in Kentucky. His sermon that morning was titled, "The Silent Call." He began spewing out numbers reflecting children who were orphans around the world. He also brought it home and gave numbers for Texas and then their county. I always think I should be accustomed to hearing such things because I worked in the field, but I have to tell you that any time those figures are repeated I feel as though I've been punched in the gut. Staggering. As a church we've lost our way. Our comforts have become more important to us than our children. The major prophets all spoke to the same issues when dealing with a sinful Israel. What were those issues? 1) Idolatry 2) Adultery 3) Their neglect of orphans and widows Sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.
The next event also happened at church on a Sunday morning in Malakoff. The pastor's message was again challenging. The sermon was entitled "Investing in Authentic Returns," and the following points were made: 1) Faith Requires Action 2) Action Requires Awareness 3) Awareness Requires Responsibility and 4) Responsibility Requires Intentionality. I'll let you do your own wrestling with those.
The most exciting thing for me that morning was watching him baptize his own young son (our pastor recently did that as well) and then baptize two older men. One appeared to have numerous health issues and required many extra hands to get him into the baptistry, yet he was determined to be there. The other was more middle-aged, and clearly broken by the love of a faithful Savior. The latter had come to Christ as he developed a relationship with the pastor at a block party sponsored by the church. It was an amazing reminder of how Christ pursues us, young with little experience, and old with many regrets. All three answered the call to "come and see."
And then we were off to Edisto Island to spend a week on the beach with family. We have spent many, many days on a beach, but never consecutive days. We were absolutely amazed at how the beach changed from day to day, morning to evening. So for all you folks who make fun of me for changing my furniture around every other week or so I'll have you know that God does the same, only His is at the beach. And for the record, I love brown pelicans. They are amazing. They are huge, and brown, and ugly, but they can soar in the air so gracefully. It was fun to watch them as they flew together in formation, 15 to 20 in each flock. Incredible.
It's also good to see family, make new memories, and remember other times -- some good, some not so good. I love to hear and see how God is working in their lives. Sometimes there's ultimate blessings to share, and at times hard, brutal lessons to learn -- and two truths always make themselves known. 1) Our sin not only affects us, but ripples down and affects everyone around us; and 2) God is close, loves us dearly, and never leaves us hanging. There are new jobs, new friendships, new struggles, new insights, and a HUGE God who takes every step with us. Amazing.
While at the beach we received news. News that made us laugh out loud and shake our heads. We also had news that broke our hearts, kept us awake until the early hours of morning, and brought flowing tears of grief. And to be honest, the question is always the same, why? And again, God reminds us that He is sovereign, His ways are not our ways, and He has a plan. I don't particularly care for any of those answers. But I know those are the right answers because we've walked this path before. A family member said last week that they always thought if you trusted God and did the right thing hard things wouldn't happen to you. If only. Scripture tells a different story. We are being conformed into the image of Christ, and Christ suffered. Bummer.
We made it home Friday evening. The puppies were happy to see us. Jeanna was happy to see us. Saturday we went to a production of Ragtime. It was awesome. So many of the truths God has pointed out to me over the last few weeks were restated in this production. And, as usual, it's the off the wall stuff that sticks in my head. Younger Brother is standing in front of Coalhouse offering him aid. In his head (Younger Brother's) he is making all of these encouraging, factual statements (which are being sung by the Company), yet all that comes out of his mouth is, "I can blow things up!"
Alas, our hearts think so deeply and we have so much we want to say, yet all we can manage is, "I can blow things up!" Such was my dilemma last week as we attempted (on my part anyway) to pray before our last meal together. So the prayers for our family may remain unspoken, but they do not remain un-prayed. Our heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself can attest to the desires of my heart when it comes to family. And even without my spoken prayers, He holds each one in the palm of His hand.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Mighty Men
This blog is one part of the 2 Samuel edition from a few weeks back. Before we begin, I need to insert a few disclaimers so that all of you know. We have two sons, and we have two grandsons. And I really do think boys are the funniest creatures God has created--especially the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade varieties. (Kristi tells me when Asher hits 7th grade she's sending him to me for a couple of years.) Teaching junior high students (boys AND girls) has been one of the highlights of my life. They make me laugh out loud. I LOVE them. Sometimes they act as if they're three, and sometimes as if they're thirty. Oh how I love them!!!
Okay, back to where I need to be. In January while Jason was in India, I went and stayed with Kami and Kayden. As I spent Sunday through Friday with Mr. Kayden Busy Boy I thought of lots of things in this life he will encounter--and the all important question, will he be ready? What does that even look like?
Several things come to mind. The most important is a personal relationship with Christ. I want him to accept Christ as his Savior early in life. That means he not only needs to hear God's word, it needs to be lived out before him in the real live world. He needs to see it from parents, grandparents, other family, and friends. Mostly, he needs to see it from his Dad. (no pressure here, nope, none at all) He needs to see those who call themselves 'Christian' on mission in their normal everyday world. I'm not talking about perfection here. I want authenticity. That means when I blow it - he knows it. I'm talking about the underlying knowledge that as we go about our life we are on mission because of Jesus Christ and who He is. We should be a walking invitation for others to "Come and see."
He also needs permission to be a boy. Unfortunately, our culture does all it can to discourage boyhood. God may have created men and women as equals, but He did NOT make them the same. We ARE different. His brain is wired differently from yours Mom. It's okay. Let him have his dirt, and worms, and bugs, and balls, and bats, and all those things that make you squirm. But also, let him have his teddy bear and his favorite blanket. Just because he's boy doesn't mean he doesn't want kisses and cuddles. Let him cry at stupid movies, (just don't be asking Nathan how many he and I have cried through together.) A man after God's own heart--David was a warrior and David was a poet, and he excelled at both.
Respect. Such a little word with huge consequences. I'll never forget in a parent/teen session we did at Immanuel when this word caused massive amounts of comments, groans, and snickers. And the underlying pain was palpable. And for the most part, these were churched families. He needs to learn how to respect others--those similar to him, those who are way different from him, those with whom he agrees, and those with whom he disagrees, those who are beautiful, and those who are ugly, those who show him respect, and even those who do not. Even those who love the color blue. (family joke) Mom and Dad, he learns respect from you. How you treat him, and how you treat one another and others matters. That respect word? It's HUGE. (as Swig would say)
I'm afraid this is getting too long so I really need to wrap it up. May I just throw out some one-liners? Mom, teach him to be the man you would want your daughter to marry. (among other things that means the sock drawer doesn't refill by magic, the oven is for baking, and you can't be hateful to your siblings or your mother) Dad, if you're the typical sitcom dad? Repent!!! The best thing you can do for your kids is love their Mom. Spend time with him. Let him know you're on his side. Our pastor reminded us again yesterday that children who have involved fathers do better at everything! They do life better. Give that gift to your boys.
So what do I want for my boys? for Kayden, and Asher, and Nolan, and Jace, and Stephen, and Sam, and Jack, and Parker, and Mac, and Jonathan, and Austin, and Zach, and Jacob, and Colton, and Wyatt, and Caleb, and Balta, and Isaac, and all the rest? I want them to be men who love their Savior, and their wives, and their children. I want them to be men who will stand up for what is right. I want them to hit home runs, and score soccer goals, and get dirty. I want them to sing in the choir or march in the band. I want them to trust God when He sends them as summer missionaries instead of working a full time job to earn money for college. I want them to be men who will step up to teach a Bible class or coach a little league team. I want them to be brave enough to mentor other boys (those without involved fathers) who need a man to admonish and encourage them. I want them to be great leaders and great followers. They need to know how to do both.
David's mighty men were brave, loyal, gallant, faithful, and real. They loved David and they loved their families. Remember Ziklag? They risked their lives for David simply by joining him as he ran from Saul. They seemed determined to uphold what God had made clear. And yes, sometimes too zealously. And in all of that they weren't afraid to rebuke David when necessary. They were followers, but they were also leaders. Scripture names each one separately. Seriously. What a Hall of Fame!
Friends, our communities need godly men now more than ever before. Referring again to the meeting with Kay Arthur a few months ago, she said one of their ministry's greatest needs is men who will lead Precept classes. Teach your sons to be Mighty Men of God. I'm praying for you and for them.
Okay, back to where I need to be. In January while Jason was in India, I went and stayed with Kami and Kayden. As I spent Sunday through Friday with Mr. Kayden Busy Boy I thought of lots of things in this life he will encounter--and the all important question, will he be ready? What does that even look like?
Several things come to mind. The most important is a personal relationship with Christ. I want him to accept Christ as his Savior early in life. That means he not only needs to hear God's word, it needs to be lived out before him in the real live world. He needs to see it from parents, grandparents, other family, and friends. Mostly, he needs to see it from his Dad. (no pressure here, nope, none at all) He needs to see those who call themselves 'Christian' on mission in their normal everyday world. I'm not talking about perfection here. I want authenticity. That means when I blow it - he knows it. I'm talking about the underlying knowledge that as we go about our life we are on mission because of Jesus Christ and who He is. We should be a walking invitation for others to "Come and see."
He also needs permission to be a boy. Unfortunately, our culture does all it can to discourage boyhood. God may have created men and women as equals, but He did NOT make them the same. We ARE different. His brain is wired differently from yours Mom. It's okay. Let him have his dirt, and worms, and bugs, and balls, and bats, and all those things that make you squirm. But also, let him have his teddy bear and his favorite blanket. Just because he's boy doesn't mean he doesn't want kisses and cuddles. Let him cry at stupid movies, (just don't be asking Nathan how many he and I have cried through together.) A man after God's own heart--David was a warrior and David was a poet, and he excelled at both.
Respect. Such a little word with huge consequences. I'll never forget in a parent/teen session we did at Immanuel when this word caused massive amounts of comments, groans, and snickers. And the underlying pain was palpable. And for the most part, these were churched families. He needs to learn how to respect others--those similar to him, those who are way different from him, those with whom he agrees, and those with whom he disagrees, those who are beautiful, and those who are ugly, those who show him respect, and even those who do not. Even those who love the color blue. (family joke) Mom and Dad, he learns respect from you. How you treat him, and how you treat one another and others matters. That respect word? It's HUGE. (as Swig would say)
I'm afraid this is getting too long so I really need to wrap it up. May I just throw out some one-liners? Mom, teach him to be the man you would want your daughter to marry. (among other things that means the sock drawer doesn't refill by magic, the oven is for baking, and you can't be hateful to your siblings or your mother) Dad, if you're the typical sitcom dad? Repent!!! The best thing you can do for your kids is love their Mom. Spend time with him. Let him know you're on his side. Our pastor reminded us again yesterday that children who have involved fathers do better at everything! They do life better. Give that gift to your boys.
So what do I want for my boys? for Kayden, and Asher, and Nolan, and Jace, and Stephen, and Sam, and Jack, and Parker, and Mac, and Jonathan, and Austin, and Zach, and Jacob, and Colton, and Wyatt, and Caleb, and Balta, and Isaac, and all the rest? I want them to be men who love their Savior, and their wives, and their children. I want them to be men who will stand up for what is right. I want them to hit home runs, and score soccer goals, and get dirty. I want them to sing in the choir or march in the band. I want them to trust God when He sends them as summer missionaries instead of working a full time job to earn money for college. I want them to be men who will step up to teach a Bible class or coach a little league team. I want them to be brave enough to mentor other boys (those without involved fathers) who need a man to admonish and encourage them. I want them to be great leaders and great followers. They need to know how to do both.
David's mighty men were brave, loyal, gallant, faithful, and real. They loved David and they loved their families. Remember Ziklag? They risked their lives for David simply by joining him as he ran from Saul. They seemed determined to uphold what God had made clear. And yes, sometimes too zealously. And in all of that they weren't afraid to rebuke David when necessary. They were followers, but they were also leaders. Scripture names each one separately. Seriously. What a Hall of Fame!
Friends, our communities need godly men now more than ever before. Referring again to the meeting with Kay Arthur a few months ago, she said one of their ministry's greatest needs is men who will lead Precept classes. Teach your sons to be Mighty Men of God. I'm praying for you and for them.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
2 Samuel
We ladies didn't get to have our Spring Bible Study because someone was really sick and apparently thought that was more fun than hanging out with friends. Alas. Plans for fall are already taking shape in my head if that makes anyone feel better.
In April I was invited to an area meeting of Precept leaders, and Kay Arthur was there to speak. This was the second time I've heard her speak live, and I must admit that I love this lady! She is wise, and she is REAL. I love it when ministry people are real. Don't you? I don't have time for fake. I was also inspired to commit to an in-depth Bible study. And where is the best place to go for those??? Why, Precept Ministries of course! I chose 2 Samuel. In the fall of 2006 I taught 1 Samuel and absolutely loved it. Due to a new work schedule and the crazy year that followed 2 Samuel was placed on the back burner. So, it's a study I've been waiting to do and now seemed the perfect time. Plus, I already had the book.
As usual, I'm always amazed at what I learn from these studies. Many of you know that I love being in the Old Testament. Talk about real people. Oh my. Sometimes I want to hide my face from their shame -- like it's worse than mine or something. It makes my heart leap with joy to know that my God is real, and He knows us well, and He isn't shocked by our thoughts or actions. Disappointed maybe, but not shocked.
Lesson 5 begins tomorrow. Today I just wanted to share a few new things I've learned thru Lesson 4. Later in the week I'll come back and share some other things with you which are much deeper and require more time. Three page blogs are hard for me to read.
One of the first things I learned is that 2 Samuel has a much different feel to it. It's bloodier. It's more heartbreaking. I didn't know that Uriah the Hittite was one of David's mighty men. It adds a completely different emotion to the story of David and Bathsheba. This man had fought with David for years as he fled from Saul. Uriah was still a valiant warrior and was serving David faithfully. How arrogant we all become when we think our relationship with God is on such a plane that we can do no evil thing. Gut wrenching betrayal.
I've always had a problem with God striking Uzzah dead when he reached out to keep the ark of the covenant from falling. It's been one of those little burrs that irritate and nag -- you know the kind -- well, if you're honest you know. I learned that David moved the ark without first learning God's instructions for moving the ark. The ark was sacred. It represented the holy place of God. There were very definite instructions, meticulous instructions, for everything ark related. And David did not follow those instructions. So many lessons in this passage. I now have an understanding of why God did what He did. More later.
I've also discovered that many of David's key people were related to him somehow. Joab, David's right hand man, was also his nephew. Fascinating. And Ahithophel, David's counselor who conspired with Absalom to take the throne from David, was Bathsheba's grandfather. Oh what tangled webs we weave.
For some reason I've always pictured Absalom as a young man when he decides to take the kingdom away from David. No. Today's culture might call it a mid-life crisis. Absalom lived in peace with his father after their 'reconciliation' for FORTY years before he acted. You know, Absalom also waited to get even with Amnon on behalf of his sister, Tamar. He was a schemer and an avenger. Forty years he waited. Amazing.
These are just a few of the facts. The ramifications of these and the practical, spiritual lessons to be gleaned from these events are vast. I can hardly wait to share.
Kay Arthur always tells us that in order to truly worship the God of scripture we must know His character. And how else to you learn God's character than by studying His Word? Precept upon precept. That's how you do it. What an adventure!
In April I was invited to an area meeting of Precept leaders, and Kay Arthur was there to speak. This was the second time I've heard her speak live, and I must admit that I love this lady! She is wise, and she is REAL. I love it when ministry people are real. Don't you? I don't have time for fake. I was also inspired to commit to an in-depth Bible study. And where is the best place to go for those??? Why, Precept Ministries of course! I chose 2 Samuel. In the fall of 2006 I taught 1 Samuel and absolutely loved it. Due to a new work schedule and the crazy year that followed 2 Samuel was placed on the back burner. So, it's a study I've been waiting to do and now seemed the perfect time. Plus, I already had the book.
As usual, I'm always amazed at what I learn from these studies. Many of you know that I love being in the Old Testament. Talk about real people. Oh my. Sometimes I want to hide my face from their shame -- like it's worse than mine or something. It makes my heart leap with joy to know that my God is real, and He knows us well, and He isn't shocked by our thoughts or actions. Disappointed maybe, but not shocked.
Lesson 5 begins tomorrow. Today I just wanted to share a few new things I've learned thru Lesson 4. Later in the week I'll come back and share some other things with you which are much deeper and require more time. Three page blogs are hard for me to read.
One of the first things I learned is that 2 Samuel has a much different feel to it. It's bloodier. It's more heartbreaking. I didn't know that Uriah the Hittite was one of David's mighty men. It adds a completely different emotion to the story of David and Bathsheba. This man had fought with David for years as he fled from Saul. Uriah was still a valiant warrior and was serving David faithfully. How arrogant we all become when we think our relationship with God is on such a plane that we can do no evil thing. Gut wrenching betrayal.
I've always had a problem with God striking Uzzah dead when he reached out to keep the ark of the covenant from falling. It's been one of those little burrs that irritate and nag -- you know the kind -- well, if you're honest you know. I learned that David moved the ark without first learning God's instructions for moving the ark. The ark was sacred. It represented the holy place of God. There were very definite instructions, meticulous instructions, for everything ark related. And David did not follow those instructions. So many lessons in this passage. I now have an understanding of why God did what He did. More later.
I've also discovered that many of David's key people were related to him somehow. Joab, David's right hand man, was also his nephew. Fascinating. And Ahithophel, David's counselor who conspired with Absalom to take the throne from David, was Bathsheba's grandfather. Oh what tangled webs we weave.
For some reason I've always pictured Absalom as a young man when he decides to take the kingdom away from David. No. Today's culture might call it a mid-life crisis. Absalom lived in peace with his father after their 'reconciliation' for FORTY years before he acted. You know, Absalom also waited to get even with Amnon on behalf of his sister, Tamar. He was a schemer and an avenger. Forty years he waited. Amazing.
These are just a few of the facts. The ramifications of these and the practical, spiritual lessons to be gleaned from these events are vast. I can hardly wait to share.
Kay Arthur always tells us that in order to truly worship the God of scripture we must know His character. And how else to you learn God's character than by studying His Word? Precept upon precept. That's how you do it. What an adventure!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Goofy Things
I have been instructed by my children and a few others to stop going down memory lane. Nathan told me yesterday that he's had enough of that lane to last for quite some time. So in order to bring a little humor to the table I've been thinking of all the goofy things that have happened to us over the years. Kristi thinks this should be a book -- not just a blog post. Unfortunately my memory is not that good. But here's a few things that should, at the very least, bring a smile to your face.
Just because Kristi thought this was such a grand idea, I'll start with her favorite story. When she introduces Jeanna to new friends she always adds this story as a sidebar. Jeanna and I are both SO impressed with this -- NOT! When Jeanna was in kindergarten she came home and told me that later in the week they were having "Dress-Up Day." It sounded like great fun to me and with her input on the day of the 'event' we dressed her up as a clown. She wore a red gingham clown suit (it even had a ruffle that went around her neck), we 'painted' her face, and put her hair in various 'pigtails'. She was a really cute clown. We took pictures of her and Jason standing by the front door before her Dad took her to school.
Later that afternoon Jason and I headed to the school for the quarterly awards program. Uh-oh. My cute little clown daughter should have been wearing one of her frilly pinafore dresses and her black patent leathers. Poor baby, if it wasn't enough that her mother dressed her as a clown, she had earned several awards and kept having to get up in front of the entire school. Oh, the shame of it all. Maybe she learned to be tough because of her mother, and not because of her brothers. Yikes.
The summer after Jason's kindergarten year we went and stayed a week in Colorado with my cousin and her family. I came from downstairs one morning and noticed none of the kids were in the house. I asked where they were and was told they were outside riding the 4-wheeler. As I'm looking around - noticing that ALL of the adults were inside - I began to rise up off the sofa to go supervise. As I am rising, my mother happens to glance out the window and screams, "oh my gosh, they've just run over Jason with the 4-wheeler!" Yep, we all know that 6, 8, and 9 year-olds should not be unsupervised around mechanical equipment. And ours, being the dare devils that they are (I would say were, but it would be untrue), were playing chicken. Jason just forgot to jump back out of the way quickly enough. Thankfully, he was not badly injured. No broken bones, just a cut on the head which bled like crazy and required two stitches.
Fast forward to Jason's 7th grade year. He's playing football for the first time and his back starts bothering him. We take him to a specialist (that's a whole other story) who sends us elsewhere to have x-rays taken. We get the x-rays back and as the doctor is looking at them says, "were you ever in a car accident or anything like that when you were younger?" Jason and I look at him blankly, and we both said, "No." His 7th lumbar was broken. The doctor said it isn't uncommon but most people don't find out about it until they are in their late 20's and playing golf. (which was the forbidden sport in my household at that time-another story) We go home, Jason calls his Grandma to tell her the news, and the first thing out of her mouth was, "oh, I bet that happened when you got run over by the 4-wheeler, huh?" Good grief. Made a big impression didn't it? I'm not sure we ever shared that story with the doctor. Some days it's just best to remain silent. Have mercy.
One night after some some event we were all congregating back at the house. Nathan and Jason had gone by Taco Villa for dinner. Mike, Jeanna, and I were already home. We three were standing out on the front porch watching it rain and watching the clouds. That's what West Texans do when that wet stuff comes down -- we stop everything and watch -- it's amazing. It was beginning to rain in earnest when Nathan and Jason arrived with the food. They jumped out of the car and ran towards the house. Mike was standing with his arm propped up on the bricks. Nathan thought Mike was holding the glass screen door open for him and Jason. Mike wasn't holding the door open. Nathan put his head down as if he were going under Mike's arm and ran right through that glass door - forehead first. Nathan ran through the entry way then dove onto the carpet and slid. He ended up with a couple of pieces of glass embedded in his arm and glass was all over him.
The screen was made of safety glass, so mostly it just crumbled. It took awhile to get the glass off of Nathan and make sure he was okay. We ended up in the emergency room so the glass could be removed from his arm and a few stitches later we were back home. He had torn a small hole in the knee of his khaki's from the slide, but other than his arm there were no more cuts - a few nicks, but nothing else. Well, he did have a knot on his forehead. (grimace) To this day there is no screen door at that house. We would go to Home Depot to look at glass doors, and I would turn green. Alas.
There are other stories. Soccer injuries, baseball injuries, New Year's Eve preparation injuries. Jeanna was at IBC helping decorate for the student New Year's Eve party. She and Corey started trash talking and Corey started 'punching'. The problem was that he made contact with Jeanna's front teeth -- she had had her braces off about three months. (they were playing - this wasn't new behavior) Yep, poor Corey will never live that down. Sorry dear.
Oh, and since we started with Kristi's favorite we'll end with a Kristi story. We were all in Amarillo to pack her and Nathan for their move to Fort Worth. She and Trent were arguing about something and whatever Trent said to her made her mad. Mike and Nathan were both wearing Texas Tech gray hoodies. Kristi turned around to slug Nathan in the back -- only it wasn't Nathan -- it was Michael. If only we had a picture of the absolute look of horror on her face when she realized it was Michael. Trent, Vickie, and I literally hit the floor laughing. Mike turned around and gave her the funniest look. She didn't know whether to cry, laugh, or cuss. Nathan and Ron were stunned. The rest of the week Mike moaned about the 'bruises' on his back. She would turn beet red -- and still does when reminded. Too funny. Especially when both of the daughter-in-laws are always telling us they don't want 'that look' from Michael.
There probably is some deep spiritual significance in those stories -- but I don't know what it would be. Sometimes you just gotta laugh, cause it's funny. or something.
Just because Kristi thought this was such a grand idea, I'll start with her favorite story. When she introduces Jeanna to new friends she always adds this story as a sidebar. Jeanna and I are both SO impressed with this -- NOT! When Jeanna was in kindergarten she came home and told me that later in the week they were having "Dress-Up Day." It sounded like great fun to me and with her input on the day of the 'event' we dressed her up as a clown. She wore a red gingham clown suit (it even had a ruffle that went around her neck), we 'painted' her face, and put her hair in various 'pigtails'. She was a really cute clown. We took pictures of her and Jason standing by the front door before her Dad took her to school.
Later that afternoon Jason and I headed to the school for the quarterly awards program. Uh-oh. My cute little clown daughter should have been wearing one of her frilly pinafore dresses and her black patent leathers. Poor baby, if it wasn't enough that her mother dressed her as a clown, she had earned several awards and kept having to get up in front of the entire school. Oh, the shame of it all. Maybe she learned to be tough because of her mother, and not because of her brothers. Yikes.
The summer after Jason's kindergarten year we went and stayed a week in Colorado with my cousin and her family. I came from downstairs one morning and noticed none of the kids were in the house. I asked where they were and was told they were outside riding the 4-wheeler. As I'm looking around - noticing that ALL of the adults were inside - I began to rise up off the sofa to go supervise. As I am rising, my mother happens to glance out the window and screams, "oh my gosh, they've just run over Jason with the 4-wheeler!" Yep, we all know that 6, 8, and 9 year-olds should not be unsupervised around mechanical equipment. And ours, being the dare devils that they are (I would say were, but it would be untrue), were playing chicken. Jason just forgot to jump back out of the way quickly enough. Thankfully, he was not badly injured. No broken bones, just a cut on the head which bled like crazy and required two stitches.
Fast forward to Jason's 7th grade year. He's playing football for the first time and his back starts bothering him. We take him to a specialist (that's a whole other story) who sends us elsewhere to have x-rays taken. We get the x-rays back and as the doctor is looking at them says, "were you ever in a car accident or anything like that when you were younger?" Jason and I look at him blankly, and we both said, "No." His 7th lumbar was broken. The doctor said it isn't uncommon but most people don't find out about it until they are in their late 20's and playing golf. (which was the forbidden sport in my household at that time-another story) We go home, Jason calls his Grandma to tell her the news, and the first thing out of her mouth was, "oh, I bet that happened when you got run over by the 4-wheeler, huh?" Good grief. Made a big impression didn't it? I'm not sure we ever shared that story with the doctor. Some days it's just best to remain silent. Have mercy.
One night after some some event we were all congregating back at the house. Nathan and Jason had gone by Taco Villa for dinner. Mike, Jeanna, and I were already home. We three were standing out on the front porch watching it rain and watching the clouds. That's what West Texans do when that wet stuff comes down -- we stop everything and watch -- it's amazing. It was beginning to rain in earnest when Nathan and Jason arrived with the food. They jumped out of the car and ran towards the house. Mike was standing with his arm propped up on the bricks. Nathan thought Mike was holding the glass screen door open for him and Jason. Mike wasn't holding the door open. Nathan put his head down as if he were going under Mike's arm and ran right through that glass door - forehead first. Nathan ran through the entry way then dove onto the carpet and slid. He ended up with a couple of pieces of glass embedded in his arm and glass was all over him.
The screen was made of safety glass, so mostly it just crumbled. It took awhile to get the glass off of Nathan and make sure he was okay. We ended up in the emergency room so the glass could be removed from his arm and a few stitches later we were back home. He had torn a small hole in the knee of his khaki's from the slide, but other than his arm there were no more cuts - a few nicks, but nothing else. Well, he did have a knot on his forehead. (grimace) To this day there is no screen door at that house. We would go to Home Depot to look at glass doors, and I would turn green. Alas.
There are other stories. Soccer injuries, baseball injuries, New Year's Eve preparation injuries. Jeanna was at IBC helping decorate for the student New Year's Eve party. She and Corey started trash talking and Corey started 'punching'. The problem was that he made contact with Jeanna's front teeth -- she had had her braces off about three months. (they were playing - this wasn't new behavior) Yep, poor Corey will never live that down. Sorry dear.
Oh, and since we started with Kristi's favorite we'll end with a Kristi story. We were all in Amarillo to pack her and Nathan for their move to Fort Worth. She and Trent were arguing about something and whatever Trent said to her made her mad. Mike and Nathan were both wearing Texas Tech gray hoodies. Kristi turned around to slug Nathan in the back -- only it wasn't Nathan -- it was Michael. If only we had a picture of the absolute look of horror on her face when she realized it was Michael. Trent, Vickie, and I literally hit the floor laughing. Mike turned around and gave her the funniest look. She didn't know whether to cry, laugh, or cuss. Nathan and Ron were stunned. The rest of the week Mike moaned about the 'bruises' on his back. She would turn beet red -- and still does when reminded. Too funny. Especially when both of the daughter-in-laws are always telling us they don't want 'that look' from Michael.
There probably is some deep spiritual significance in those stories -- but I don't know what it would be. Sometimes you just gotta laugh, cause it's funny. or something.
Friday, March 25, 2011
When You Just Don't Know
Not too long ago a friend of mine asked if she and I could find a Bible study on love and work through it together. After a little research I found a study I thought would be appropriate. It requires some homework, but not much, and of course we both like that. While completing one of the segments this week I had an 'aha' moment. Not sure how you guys feel about those, but I find them quite refreshing.
The passage was in Genesis where God tells Abraham to take Isaac up the mountain and sacrifice him. And Abraham does just what every parent would do. He gets the wood ready, packs everything up, rounds up Isaac and a few servants, and heads for the mountain. He doesn't ask any questions. He doesn't argue with God. He just goes. Can you believe that??? (okay, just in case you haven't caught onto the sarcasm, I don't know any parents who would do that)
Do you think Isaac might have been a little nervous? I mean, he asks his Dad where's the lamb? And Abraham tells him God will provide one. But then, when your Dad puts the wood on the altar and ties you up and puts you on top of the wood, well, I don't know about you, but I'd be not so impressed. And somehow, I'm thinking Isaac isn't too much different than us. Wow.
And then, just in the nick of time, God intervenes. Whew! We were getting worried there weren't we? And we learn that God was testing Abraham. And God tells Abraham, "I just wanted to see if you would withhold your son, your only son from Me." Yes, there all kinds of lessons in this passage. But what struck me is the fact that God walked Abraham through each step to see if he was willing to give Him Isaac, and then wham, never mind, I just wanted to see what you would do.
Everyone remembers 9/11/2001, where you were, how you felt, what you feared, etc. Nathan and Jeanna were going to school at Texas Tech. They were very involved in the Baptist Student Ministry (BSM) and actually had a Bible study that night. (Tuesday night - regular Bible study night) While they were there, one of their friends who was a semester missionary in New York City called. She was safe, but she was telling all of them how great the need was. That night after her call, a group of college students decided they needed to pack up and head to NYC to help in any way they could.
Later that night, we get a phone call. Yep, you guessed it, they were part of the group. The plan was still in its early stages, so Mike and I slept fine that night, which was good, because the morning would bring a totally different kind of day. The calls started early the next morning. I had barely made it to work when they started calling. I spent most of the day in the back part of our office on my knees, draped over a chair, with the phone at my ear. They would call with this plan, and with that plan, and this idea, and that idea. There were classes to withdraw from, leases to be broken, money to be gathered, and the list went on and on and on.
We immediately sent out an SOS for prayer. I was on the phone with Brian Swiggart, our youth pastor at the time, almost as much as I was with Nathan, Jeanna, or Michael. Mike and I met for lunch to discuss the logistics of how we would get a group of college students and their stuff to NYC. They couldn't fly, we would have to drive them. We contacted Terry, Mike's brother, for prayer support and wise counsel. He was very gracious and offered to work on funds if the decision was to go. I left work early that day and drove over to Mom and Dad's to get some encouragement from them. It was insane.
When it came down to it, the decision was made not to go. Too many were dropping out due to parental pressure, and because of the way the group was organized it would be too difficult if it wasn't a team effort. Jeanna called me at 4:30 pm to tell me they weren't going. I know I cried, but I couldn't tell you why. It was an emotional day.
When we moved to OKC I had the opportunity to speak with one of the other students about this whole ordeal. It's been a topic of conversation in our household from time to time. What in the world was that about? Ryan told me how disappointed he had been that his parents hadn't supported the plan. After graduation he had moved to Seattle and ran into someone who had gone for ministry purposes. He shared that the regret of not going was more intense after that. Bummer.
But you know what? I don't think it was about the students as much as I think it was about the parents. I think there are seven sets of parents that were tested that day. I've almost come to the conclusion that regardless the trip would have never occurred. And when I was reading the story of Abraham and Isaac this week it was as though a huge bell went off indicating that sometimes it's all about the test. You could call it the test of faith. Whoa! Really God? All of that was just a test? And I was reminded of other times we have been put through the steps.
Mike and I passed that particular test, but trust me, there have been others that we flunked big time. How about you? Do you hold on to things and people so tightly that God would have to chisel them away? Would you allow that circumstance to cause bitterness and anger towards God? Is it such a fearful thing to trust a mighty God? Some days, the answer would have to be a resounding YES.
But maybe, just maybe, He can say to us, "Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son . . .from Me."
The passage was in Genesis where God tells Abraham to take Isaac up the mountain and sacrifice him. And Abraham does just what every parent would do. He gets the wood ready, packs everything up, rounds up Isaac and a few servants, and heads for the mountain. He doesn't ask any questions. He doesn't argue with God. He just goes. Can you believe that??? (okay, just in case you haven't caught onto the sarcasm, I don't know any parents who would do that)
Do you think Isaac might have been a little nervous? I mean, he asks his Dad where's the lamb? And Abraham tells him God will provide one. But then, when your Dad puts the wood on the altar and ties you up and puts you on top of the wood, well, I don't know about you, but I'd be not so impressed. And somehow, I'm thinking Isaac isn't too much different than us. Wow.
And then, just in the nick of time, God intervenes. Whew! We were getting worried there weren't we? And we learn that God was testing Abraham. And God tells Abraham, "I just wanted to see if you would withhold your son, your only son from Me." Yes, there all kinds of lessons in this passage. But what struck me is the fact that God walked Abraham through each step to see if he was willing to give Him Isaac, and then wham, never mind, I just wanted to see what you would do.
Everyone remembers 9/11/2001, where you were, how you felt, what you feared, etc. Nathan and Jeanna were going to school at Texas Tech. They were very involved in the Baptist Student Ministry (BSM) and actually had a Bible study that night. (Tuesday night - regular Bible study night) While they were there, one of their friends who was a semester missionary in New York City called. She was safe, but she was telling all of them how great the need was. That night after her call, a group of college students decided they needed to pack up and head to NYC to help in any way they could.
Later that night, we get a phone call. Yep, you guessed it, they were part of the group. The plan was still in its early stages, so Mike and I slept fine that night, which was good, because the morning would bring a totally different kind of day. The calls started early the next morning. I had barely made it to work when they started calling. I spent most of the day in the back part of our office on my knees, draped over a chair, with the phone at my ear. They would call with this plan, and with that plan, and this idea, and that idea. There were classes to withdraw from, leases to be broken, money to be gathered, and the list went on and on and on.
We immediately sent out an SOS for prayer. I was on the phone with Brian Swiggart, our youth pastor at the time, almost as much as I was with Nathan, Jeanna, or Michael. Mike and I met for lunch to discuss the logistics of how we would get a group of college students and their stuff to NYC. They couldn't fly, we would have to drive them. We contacted Terry, Mike's brother, for prayer support and wise counsel. He was very gracious and offered to work on funds if the decision was to go. I left work early that day and drove over to Mom and Dad's to get some encouragement from them. It was insane.
When it came down to it, the decision was made not to go. Too many were dropping out due to parental pressure, and because of the way the group was organized it would be too difficult if it wasn't a team effort. Jeanna called me at 4:30 pm to tell me they weren't going. I know I cried, but I couldn't tell you why. It was an emotional day.
When we moved to OKC I had the opportunity to speak with one of the other students about this whole ordeal. It's been a topic of conversation in our household from time to time. What in the world was that about? Ryan told me how disappointed he had been that his parents hadn't supported the plan. After graduation he had moved to Seattle and ran into someone who had gone for ministry purposes. He shared that the regret of not going was more intense after that. Bummer.
But you know what? I don't think it was about the students as much as I think it was about the parents. I think there are seven sets of parents that were tested that day. I've almost come to the conclusion that regardless the trip would have never occurred. And when I was reading the story of Abraham and Isaac this week it was as though a huge bell went off indicating that sometimes it's all about the test. You could call it the test of faith. Whoa! Really God? All of that was just a test? And I was reminded of other times we have been put through the steps.
Mike and I passed that particular test, but trust me, there have been others that we flunked big time. How about you? Do you hold on to things and people so tightly that God would have to chisel them away? Would you allow that circumstance to cause bitterness and anger towards God? Is it such a fearful thing to trust a mighty God? Some days, the answer would have to be a resounding YES.
But maybe, just maybe, He can say to us, "Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son . . .from Me."
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Faithfulness from a Mighty God
Well, now that February is almost over I'm almost feeling normal. (I can just hear those who know me best saying, "Normal? You've never been normal in your life!" Alas.) I don't recall ever missing such a big block of life at one time. Two weeks in bed and another week wondering why I wasn't is no way to start the new year. I have learned that not even upon my worst enemy would I ever wish a sinus infection. Pain, and then more pain, and maybe I'm just a wuss. Again, alas.
So, this week I've tried to take it easy, which isn't hard when you have no strength to do anything for more than 30 minutes at a time. Our pastor reminded us on Facebook that RADICALIS 2011 was happening (an annual conference hosted by Saddleback Church) so I tuned in. It was just what the doctor ordered - an encouragement to the soul and the spirit and a reminder from God that it's not about me. Dang it!
While listening in on-line I tackled a chore I"ve been putting off for years. That would be going through and organizing all of our photos. It's easier to scrapbook if you have them in order, right? So of course, you guessed it, I've been walking down memory lane again. But that's the purpose of taking all those pictures isn't it?
There are several things that have caught my attention going through all of those photos. One is that we were BUSY. Oh my gosh, BUSY. Children at home make you BUSY. Have mercy. I must pray harder for my friends who are in that phase of their life right now.
Another thing that struck me is that we had two years (and maybe more) that were traumatic - life changing - painful - oh dear God are we going to survive this - kind of years. One of those was in 1992. We lost three family members that year. The first was in February (hmmm). Our brother-in-law lost his courageous battle with cancer. Our kids and their kids were not only close in age, but they were close as in friends. I remember Jason staying with them over the weekends before and then being so sad that he almost always had to come home from school on Mondays. I remember one of the reasons he made it that year was that his second grade teacher's husband was fighting a similar battle, and I know for a fact that they shed tears together on more than one occasion. It was hard. It hurt. It left us wounded.
In May, Mike's Aunt Melva lost her battle with brain cancer. We were still wounded, and the pain went a little deeper. Her funeral was almost harder than Bill's because with his we had had time to grieve as a family before the service. We did not have that luxury with her service. It was hard. It hurt. It wounded.
Then in December, right before finals Granny Ray died. She was Mike's grandmother. And so yet again, there were tears to shed, and hurts to heal. And we couldn't just shed tears for her at that point. There was another round of tears for Bill and for Melva. Grief sometimes likes to come and stay.
There were other hard things that year. For the first time since having children I had to return to work full-time. I spent March, April, and May in El Paso during the week for job training. In December, the week that Granny Ray died I had the flu. Thought I was going to die then too, but thankfully the duration was only four days. I was feeling better just in time to get in the car and head to Arkansas. Nathan and Lori had transitioned to junior high that year, which is traumatic in and of itself.
Now there were times of comic relief as well. This family that I'm apart of has learned to grieve well. We tell people that we are professional grievers-we've got this thing down to a science. Melva was to be buried in Arkansas. May is in the middle of baseball season, and we had three boys that were playing. We headed to Arkansas about 10 pm one night after a round of baseball games.
We just knew the kids would keep us awake. Oh no, by Big Spring every last one of them was out for the count. It was up to Donna and I to keep Michael awake all night. Remember that it was Bill Clinton's first year in office, and he had resided in the small town of Hope, Arkansas. And, as luck would have it, that's where Mike's family is from, and of course, that's where we were headed. And, if you know my husband at all, you know he detested Bill Clinton from the beginning.
As we are getting closer and closer to Arkansas Donna and I saw that we might have a problem. All along the interstate were big signs saying, "Welcome to Arkansas, Home of William Jefferson Clinton, President of the United States." We were terrified that Mike would read those signs and we would do a u-turn in the median and head back to Dallas. Michael scowled all the way into Hope while Donna and I laughed like drunken sailors. Have mercy.
You know, we survived that year, every last one of us. We survived because we knew a God who could be trusted. We survived because people we didn't even know were praying for us. We survived because life goes on, and it's not about us, or even any of those we lost that year. There are days I still grieve over them.
I can also say that because of that pivotal year not only was my faith strengthened, but so was the faith of my children. I think that year was the year God became VERY real to each one of them. It was no longer their parents' faith - it became their faith, and He became their God. I would love to say that it was easy, but it wasn't. We asked the hard questions, and we struggled. And yes, our kids knew we were struggling.
As we've talked and walked through the years things come up, and the parallel to that year is so very obvious. And the lessons we learned still hold true. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
Because we have a faithful God and a mighty God, we also made it through the firestorm that was 2007. There were many people praying for us that year too. Friends, family, and tons we don't even know. Thank you.
One of the conference speakers said that if you've ever wrestled with God you'll never be the same. He was right. Jacob had a limp for the rest of his life after his encounter with God. The speaker even said to beware of someone who claims to be a man of God who doesn't walk with a limp. Intriguing thought. Our family has limp-ers, and when we forget God reminds us. Do you have a limp? God is faithful. God is mighty. And He would love to wrestle with you so that you can learn first-hand that He is faithful, and He is mighty.
So, this week I've tried to take it easy, which isn't hard when you have no strength to do anything for more than 30 minutes at a time. Our pastor reminded us on Facebook that RADICALIS 2011 was happening (an annual conference hosted by Saddleback Church) so I tuned in. It was just what the doctor ordered - an encouragement to the soul and the spirit and a reminder from God that it's not about me. Dang it!
While listening in on-line I tackled a chore I"ve been putting off for years. That would be going through and organizing all of our photos. It's easier to scrapbook if you have them in order, right? So of course, you guessed it, I've been walking down memory lane again. But that's the purpose of taking all those pictures isn't it?
There are several things that have caught my attention going through all of those photos. One is that we were BUSY. Oh my gosh, BUSY. Children at home make you BUSY. Have mercy. I must pray harder for my friends who are in that phase of their life right now.
Another thing that struck me is that we had two years (and maybe more) that were traumatic - life changing - painful - oh dear God are we going to survive this - kind of years. One of those was in 1992. We lost three family members that year. The first was in February (hmmm). Our brother-in-law lost his courageous battle with cancer. Our kids and their kids were not only close in age, but they were close as in friends. I remember Jason staying with them over the weekends before and then being so sad that he almost always had to come home from school on Mondays. I remember one of the reasons he made it that year was that his second grade teacher's husband was fighting a similar battle, and I know for a fact that they shed tears together on more than one occasion. It was hard. It hurt. It left us wounded.
In May, Mike's Aunt Melva lost her battle with brain cancer. We were still wounded, and the pain went a little deeper. Her funeral was almost harder than Bill's because with his we had had time to grieve as a family before the service. We did not have that luxury with her service. It was hard. It hurt. It wounded.
Then in December, right before finals Granny Ray died. She was Mike's grandmother. And so yet again, there were tears to shed, and hurts to heal. And we couldn't just shed tears for her at that point. There was another round of tears for Bill and for Melva. Grief sometimes likes to come and stay.
There were other hard things that year. For the first time since having children I had to return to work full-time. I spent March, April, and May in El Paso during the week for job training. In December, the week that Granny Ray died I had the flu. Thought I was going to die then too, but thankfully the duration was only four days. I was feeling better just in time to get in the car and head to Arkansas. Nathan and Lori had transitioned to junior high that year, which is traumatic in and of itself.
Now there were times of comic relief as well. This family that I'm apart of has learned to grieve well. We tell people that we are professional grievers-we've got this thing down to a science. Melva was to be buried in Arkansas. May is in the middle of baseball season, and we had three boys that were playing. We headed to Arkansas about 10 pm one night after a round of baseball games.
We just knew the kids would keep us awake. Oh no, by Big Spring every last one of them was out for the count. It was up to Donna and I to keep Michael awake all night. Remember that it was Bill Clinton's first year in office, and he had resided in the small town of Hope, Arkansas. And, as luck would have it, that's where Mike's family is from, and of course, that's where we were headed. And, if you know my husband at all, you know he detested Bill Clinton from the beginning.
As we are getting closer and closer to Arkansas Donna and I saw that we might have a problem. All along the interstate were big signs saying, "Welcome to Arkansas, Home of William Jefferson Clinton, President of the United States." We were terrified that Mike would read those signs and we would do a u-turn in the median and head back to Dallas. Michael scowled all the way into Hope while Donna and I laughed like drunken sailors. Have mercy.
You know, we survived that year, every last one of us. We survived because we knew a God who could be trusted. We survived because people we didn't even know were praying for us. We survived because life goes on, and it's not about us, or even any of those we lost that year. There are days I still grieve over them.
I can also say that because of that pivotal year not only was my faith strengthened, but so was the faith of my children. I think that year was the year God became VERY real to each one of them. It was no longer their parents' faith - it became their faith, and He became their God. I would love to say that it was easy, but it wasn't. We asked the hard questions, and we struggled. And yes, our kids knew we were struggling.
As we've talked and walked through the years things come up, and the parallel to that year is so very obvious. And the lessons we learned still hold true. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
Because we have a faithful God and a mighty God, we also made it through the firestorm that was 2007. There were many people praying for us that year too. Friends, family, and tons we don't even know. Thank you.
One of the conference speakers said that if you've ever wrestled with God you'll never be the same. He was right. Jacob had a limp for the rest of his life after his encounter with God. The speaker even said to beware of someone who claims to be a man of God who doesn't walk with a limp. Intriguing thought. Our family has limp-ers, and when we forget God reminds us. Do you have a limp? God is faithful. God is mighty. And He would love to wrestle with you so that you can learn first-hand that He is faithful, and He is mighty.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Freedom and Joy
Freedom. It's not a word I take lightly. I suspect it has a different meaning for each of us, depending on where we've been and what life has dealt us.
For some it has a patriotic ring; a love of country and the ability to speak what's on your mind. Or the ability to work in a way that emphasizes your talents, interests, and desires. Or the ability to vote for whomever or whatever you choose in any election in which you choose to participate. Or the ability to not vote at all.
For most kids I've known or worked with it has more to do with freedom from rules imposed by their parents or some other authority figure in their world. I was always amazed at how each one of them thought they were the only ones whose parents hindered their freedom -- a rite of passage I think. I was more intrigued with those in foster care who felt that in a 'real' family the rules wouldn't be nearly as confining. To some extent they were right, but not in the areas they would have expected. It was a continual source of debate, and unfortunately for some, their quest for 'freedom' ended tragically. Heartbreaking still for those of us who love them and want for them the very best.
For still others freedom is a financial goal, a life in which they are able to do what they please whenever and however they choose without the restraint of work requirements and not having to use all of their funds just to pay the bills. Enough money to play and not be dependent on anyone else.
For me freedom is probably some of all of the above and much more. In the spring of 1986 while going through intense substance abuse counseling for addiction issues in our family, I was given permission to no longer be the peacemaker and to no longer be manipulated by guilt. That was the beginning of my journey to freedom.
It has not always been a pleasant journey. I have disappointed many, fought many others, and made some enemies along the way. I also like to think that I've encouraged a few, challenged some to a new way of thinking, and brought hope to those held captive.
My freedom is more about living in the real world, with a real God, who is relevant and not afraid of the hard questions. It's about leaving shame and guilt behind. It's more about 'being' than about 'doing'. It's about not trying to force a round peg into a square hole. It's about not focusing on the 'thou shalt nots' and focusing on Christ and the abundant life He offers. It's about living in peace even in the midst of horrific chaos. It's about knowing who ultimately has your back. It's about knowing the God of the universe who longs for a relationship with each of us and doesn't care if our quiet time is in the morning or in the evening (or if we use KJV or NIV or ESV or . . .). And I've learned that dancing unto the Lord is a precious gift.
Galatians 5:1 "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
John 8:32 "and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:36 "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Freedom. Joy. Peace. He offers them all. Come and see . . .
For some it has a patriotic ring; a love of country and the ability to speak what's on your mind. Or the ability to work in a way that emphasizes your talents, interests, and desires. Or the ability to vote for whomever or whatever you choose in any election in which you choose to participate. Or the ability to not vote at all.
For most kids I've known or worked with it has more to do with freedom from rules imposed by their parents or some other authority figure in their world. I was always amazed at how each one of them thought they were the only ones whose parents hindered their freedom -- a rite of passage I think. I was more intrigued with those in foster care who felt that in a 'real' family the rules wouldn't be nearly as confining. To some extent they were right, but not in the areas they would have expected. It was a continual source of debate, and unfortunately for some, their quest for 'freedom' ended tragically. Heartbreaking still for those of us who love them and want for them the very best.
For still others freedom is a financial goal, a life in which they are able to do what they please whenever and however they choose without the restraint of work requirements and not having to use all of their funds just to pay the bills. Enough money to play and not be dependent on anyone else.
For me freedom is probably some of all of the above and much more. In the spring of 1986 while going through intense substance abuse counseling for addiction issues in our family, I was given permission to no longer be the peacemaker and to no longer be manipulated by guilt. That was the beginning of my journey to freedom.
It has not always been a pleasant journey. I have disappointed many, fought many others, and made some enemies along the way. I also like to think that I've encouraged a few, challenged some to a new way of thinking, and brought hope to those held captive.
My freedom is more about living in the real world, with a real God, who is relevant and not afraid of the hard questions. It's about leaving shame and guilt behind. It's more about 'being' than about 'doing'. It's about not trying to force a round peg into a square hole. It's about not focusing on the 'thou shalt nots' and focusing on Christ and the abundant life He offers. It's about living in peace even in the midst of horrific chaos. It's about knowing who ultimately has your back. It's about knowing the God of the universe who longs for a relationship with each of us and doesn't care if our quiet time is in the morning or in the evening (or if we use KJV or NIV or ESV or . . .). And I've learned that dancing unto the Lord is a precious gift.
Galatians 5:1 "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
John 8:32 "and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:36 "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Freedom. Joy. Peace. He offers them all. Come and see . . .
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