Change & Other Ugly Words

I received a text from my youngest last night.  He was letting us know he has a new cell number.  Why?  To communicate more easily with staff at his new church.  He's had the other phone number since high school.  Not a big deal, right?

Ummmm, as I was letting him know I had the new number a sudden surge of tears appeared from -- well I'm not sure from where.  All I know is that one minute I'm updating my contact list, and the next minute I have tears falling down my face.  Another thing from the past to let go of.  Another sign that we're moving on.  Another sign that nothing stays the same.  Another sign that change is inevitable.

We don't like change.  We resist it as much as possible in all areas of our life.  Even if we're absolutely miserable we resist change.  We get comfortable.  We get lazy.  We get apathetic.  We adopt the attitude that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  And although we would deny it with our very last breath, we like dull routine.  It's comfortable and it's safe.

In one of my counseling classes we talked about the fact that the only constant in life is change.  And where there is change, there is also grief.  Isn't that happy?

Have I mentioned that 2007 was a really rough year?  It started spiraling out of control right after we came back from the New Year holiday.  And honestly it didn't spiral as much as it just flat out plummeted.  Psalm 31 pretty much sums up that year for us.  There was change and there was grief.  And the grief was so overwhelming that I adopted a heart and face of stone in order to get through it.  I was afraid if I ever started crying I would never stop.

And then came 2008.  That year started with lots of changes as well.  So many that we ended up in Oklahoma.  And I still had my heart and face of stone.  My armor if you will.

And the last few years God has been pulling away at the scab of 2007.  And there's lots of tears to be shed.  So many in fact that something as simple as a changed phone number brings tears....

Blessed be the Lord, for He has wondrously shown His steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city.  I had said in my alarm, "I am cut off from Your sight."  But You heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to You for help.  Psalm 31:21,22