Hard Lessons Learned

It's been a busy week.  One of my Frozen Yogurt Thursday friends texted me early this morning.  "What?",  says I, "It's Thursday already???"  Oh dear.  I know all of you have had weeks like that.

We left Edmond Saturday afternoon after a quilting class and headed to Abilene (ultimate destination Odessa, because it's spectacular).  It was then that Kami (one of our awesome daughter-in-laws) mentioned the Penn State event.  Friday had been so busy that I only heard the broadcasters mention Penn State.  I just figured it was another round of the regular NCAA violations drama unfolding - with Penn State being the new target.  It wasn't until Tuesday evening driving home that I finally heard the whole story.  Mike will testify that the more I heard the quieter I became -- heading back to never never land.

That 2007 year?  You know, the one I'm always mentioning?  My co-workers and I learned a lot of hard lessons that year.  And to clarify - we followed the letter of the law.  We did everything and more regarding policy, expectations, and legal ramifications.  CPS and law enforcement were brought in early on, and we worked diligently with both agencies.  I would like to share with you some of the lessons we learned in hopes that if you ever find yourself facing anything similar you'll have an idea of what needs to be done.

Lesson One:  When you are around a group of people everyday, all day long, you start seeing what you expect to see.  You don't notice different nuances, attitudes, etc.  It's like being around someone who is slowly but surely gaining weight but when you look at them? they are the same size as always.  (I know, bad example, but you know what I mean.)

Lesson Two:  When you're in the situation of Lesson One and someone outside the group comes in and hangs out for a while then pulls you aside with concerns about what they see?  LISTEN and investigate. Their perspective is extremely valuable and usually right on the money.

Lesson Three:  When kids start talking about something, and they bring it up over and over? LISTEN and investigate.  More than once I've been told something and have then followed up on it.  Investigations were completed, etc. and nothing concrete could be determined.  But - when the 'story' refuses to die?  (and this can go on for days or even months)  It's time to get the big guns out and get down and dirty.  Every time a story wouldn't go away -- it was happening -- even when it was the most ridiculous story of all. And I'm not talking about someone just 'reporting' something -- I'm talking about casual conversations and little snippets that you hear when no one has their 'guard' up.

Lesson Four:  When you have six people doing the work of twelve things happen that shouldn't.  Especially when two of the six have traumatic life experiences outside of work with which they are dealing.  Exhaustion does not bode well for those in someone else's care.  If you know those who work for an agency, and they are on the edge because of work hours or work load would you be brave enough to be an advocate for them?  See Lesson Two.

After reading the timeline provided by CBS Sports and the Grand Jury report I am appalled. I am angry.  Paterno, McQueary, and Spanier should never have been allowed back onto the campus when this story broke. There were lots of people who knew what Sandusky was doing, and they chose not to act.  God help them.

Please be an advocate for your children, and not only yours, but others who may not have an adult in their life who is on top of things.  Be persistent.  Be an adult - a responsible adult.  Don't bury your head in the sand.  So far we have nine victims.  Trust me, before it's all over there will be many more.  And it could have been stopped over ten years ago.  If only they had followed the letter of the law.

By the way, NCAA violations sound like a walk in the park.  Yes?