I've been away for a very long time -- well over a year. I'm not sure what happened, it just seemed there was nothing to say. There have been times during the absence when I should have written but just couldn't make it happen. But God's been poking at me recently, letting me know it's time to begin again. So here we go . . .
Last week I was able to spend a whole week at a resort in Holly Lake Ranch in East Texas. Oklahoma people make fun of us Texas people because of how we distinguish different parts of the state. But we have to, do you know how BIG Texas is? Have mercy. Oops, I digress. Anyway, Michael drove me down Saturday afternoon (even though I was sick as a dog) and left Sunday afternoon. My friends were coming in late Wednesday, but for two whole days, nearly three, I was alone. Time for a little thinking and lots of heart to heart talks with Jesus.
Paula and Kathy arrived late Wednesday night. They brought food. This made me happy. It had rained all day on Wednesday. I love the rain, especially when in such a beautiful place. Paula and Kathy weren't nearly as impressed. They drove in it all day and then in the dark. We have been friends for at least 25 years. We don't see each other nearly enough, but God had arranged this meeting, and we took advantage of it.
Thursday night we got to talking about all those years. We were trying to remember just when our friendship started and how. I'm not sure we ever put it down to the time, but Kathy seems to think the moment was when we skipped out on an event planned by the beautiful June Bingham. We stayed for most of it, but at some point the whole of us were going to another place and somehow we three decided to strike out on our own. Poor Mrs. Bingham. I marvel that she didn't pinch our heads off.
In the course of that conversation (which lasted until three in the morning) we learned things about one another that we had never known before. Imagine that! We clarified some events of long ago. We remembered the past. And I must confess, there are painful times in our past. Times where we were in deep despair with no hope. Times when we were walking blind, or walking wounded, or walking and talking when we should have been walking and keeping silent. We went through times with our marriages, with our kids, with our friends, and with our church that we thought we would't live through. We discussed and rehashed those times that night. The pain became real again, the sorrow was deep again, and emotions were raw. It was an amazing night.
But as we talked we each noticed the same things. There was no anger or bitterness in our souls at the people involved, the events that had occurred, or even at God who had allowed all things to transpire. We were each struck by the fact that God had remained faithful throughout the years. We each realized that He had held us in the palm of His hand and loved on us when we thought we were surely going to die from the pain that was in our world. He didn't let us go, He didn't let us become bitter, He allowed us to continue to love, pray for, and feel sorrow for all those people who wronged us. (and yes, those people who we wronged as well)
I try hard to not live in the past. I also know that sometimes you need to be reminded of the past just so you can remember the story of how God led you through different events in your world. Any one of those events could have destroyed us had we let it. Each one of those events have become a stepping stone to the relationship we now have with our heavenly Father. He's amazing, this God we serve. And He's faithful, and I needed to be reminded.
Joshua 4:20-24: And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal. And he said to the people of Israel, "When your children ask their father in times to come, 'What do these stones mean?' then you shall let your children know, 'Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.' For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over; as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever."
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